Right now I've been slightly idle, engaging in sightseeing and learning the roads since I'm unemployed, but my days have been thoroughly filled with enjoyment. The area I moved to is immeasurably greater than where I lived in Michigan. For one, and most importantly, the food culture is fantastic. Chocolate prices are considerably low and vast varieties are everywhere, and new things to try galore are in every grocery I walk into. I've been beginning to nurture a list of which places are best to go to for what foods, and it looks like I might be frequenting a lot of different places, whereas I only stuck to two stores in Michigan. On Sunday I went to this all Asian mall that had a full-sized supermarket inside, and was impressed to see that it had many things I had been desiring to try and obtain but previously could not, including octopus, duck ($1.85 /lb!), various offal (head, blood, brains, etc.), duck eggs, and more. I just could not ask for a better array of shopping centers to fuel my culinary endeavors. My old part of Michigan, in contrast, seems like a barren wasteland.
I even found a new nature preserve, which I'm interested in since I used to frequent a nature park by my house. Not only will it do well for my walking desires, it also shocked me by being immensely huger and more beautiful than my old park. There's so many different trails to choose from: in the woods, by the lake, through a meadow, in a field, and by a pond. Just to scan all its offerings I walked very briskly around its edge, doing little in the way of stopping, and it took me an hour and a half to walk the whole thing. I was almost scared I wouldn't get out in time for its closing. It isn't as close by as my other park since it necessitates driving, but it's well worth the trip.
I'm also impressed by the gym I tried out and intend to get a membership at. It's more expensive than the one I used to frequent since Texas apparently has different pricing procedures, but worth tolerating for what I get. To my surprise, they have the Nautilus brand of machines, which is the brand recommended in Body by Science
(my exercise routine source). They're weird, but I like them better. Even with the same weights the exercises seemed more difficult, and I found intriguing that when I tried static holds (when you hold the resistance rather than do repetitions) the arms kept jerking back as if some person were actually yanking on the weights. Once I get a membership I'm absolutely looking to beef up. They also have this dry sauna available in the men's locker room, which I enjoyed after my workout, though I discovered how much it can sting to breathe deeply through the nose in there. The gym is called LA Fitness, and in my area it's the best alternative I've assessed. There's probably still an endless amount of things more for me to see. Being culinary minded, I've kept a near one-track concentration on food shops, so I have yet to taste the offers of other businesses. Perhaps as I get employed and more socially active I'll start visiting some night clubs? We'll see.
The only downside is that I've gotten myself sick and surprisingly took a long time to fully heal, despite the fact I've been using my vitamin D. It's hardly a mystery how this happened: Between the periods of my stage and consequent move, I've been subjecting my body to lots of stress. Before the move I indulged in a lot of sugar, such as by trying to clean my freezer of its ice cream, and even had a couple drinks with my boss before I left. During my traveling, I became super anxious and worried about what might go wrong, so my body woke me up way earlier than I wanted to and ended up becoming sleep-deprived. By the time I arrived I ended up developing a severe cough, fever, and runny nose. I've been holding off on my meditation because the coughing would disrupt my meditative state, so I have yet to get working on that weekly goal. I don't know why I'm stayed sick for so long, but I'm finally getting over it. It's amazing to think I can feel cold in weather such as this. I'd probably feel miserable in Michigan winter if I were there in that condition.
While I already felt at home the moment I arrived, I still don't feel like I've dropped anchor yet. All this crazy traveling these past few weeks and recent days, including my motel stay in Illinois, has ingrained in me a lasting sense that I'm still on the move. It feels odd to even be in my room for an extended period, as I still have some sense that there's some location that I need to be traveling to. Once I get to know the area and calm down all this frantic sight-seeing I should gain peace with staying at rest.
Emotionally, I am doing better and better. Gone is that frequent stress that used to plague me back in Michigan, and I've certainly noticed I'm developing better behaviors. All these vast chocolate choices, for instance, have hardly tempted me in the least to be financially irresponsible since I know they're outside of my budget at present and that I have plenty at home. In the past these choices would have sent me into a panic since my mind would be desperate to abate the stress I was feeling. Absent that stress, I feel no psychological need to use shopping to treat any discomfort, and I can rest comfortably just making a mental note of which varieties are sold where so that I may purchase them in the future.
Most importantly, I'm not longer dwelling on any problems, which should prove that it was indeed the phenomenon of loose ends that was causing my obsession previously. Desperate to solve my problems and tie up loose ends, I thought about my problems a lot since I was incapable of solving them at the time, and now that they're solved they are of no worth to keep thinking about, and I need to make little effort not to think about them. It's disappointing to think that I wasted a few years of my life struggling with and thinking about this problem, but life is moving on.
I do wish I could get back to my studies, but unfortunately it'll be a few more weeks yet until I qualify for a library card. I need a valid Texan driver's license, and before that I need new registration, and before that I need to wait for the delivery of a certified copy of my birth certificate. Until then I can only wait, write, sight see, and job search. While there's certainly so much potential for culinary experimentation, I'm not going to indulge until I have a source of income, because right now I'm dependence on my savings, thankfully built up especially for this situation. Things ought to change quickly, and until then I've got the likes of Hulu and my Twilight Zone DVDs to entertain me.
My life and writing may seem odd without the Project since it dominated so much of both, but there will other projects to replace it, this time with all lowercase P's. This blog will increasingly become more dominated by my thoughts about foods and my culinary learning, and I'll take to cultivating relationships now that I have no fear of them being undermined by any mental preoccupations on my part or any fear that they may meet the bad people I'm in unchosen association with. And yes, that includes romance, but again: While I may like to detail my self-improvement in preparation for such an endeavor, I won't talk about any of my pursuits.
As of right now it's a question as to where I may choose to consciously direct this blog, but my writing habits will carry on with me to my new life since it's so helpful to introspection. At most I know, I'm definitely shifting my educational pursuits heavily towards my culinary field since my career is continuously getting more important, and also that I'm clarifying my views on what's important to my education (which I'll detail later). Now I think I'll be less prone to wasting my time with texts that hardly hold my interest and seldom bear fruit in terms of learning and notes.
To summarize, the projected end result of my Project was certainly no mistaken fantasy: It has achieved its end in bettering my life in every spectrum and in establishing the mental peace I've been so painfully longing for. It may have been a pressing stretch to have waited until I could move to another state, but this move is proving to be fantastic, particularly in how greater the choices of potential ingredients are. I have positively no bad people in my life, and I can think clearly now as to what it is I solely alone need to do in order to take control of my life. Concretely from here I'd like to work on getting a job, advancing my skills and income, pursuing my own apartment (I'm renting a room at the time), and establishing a regiment of culinary education, particularly in practicing in my own kitchen.The Project was a long and aggravating struggle, but was well worth it.
Never give up on solving your problems. The life to be gained on the other side is more than worthwhile.
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