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Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Reducing My Public Openness

I have reached the conclusion that the particular piece I've been promising, about that emotional identification, will never be written for public viewing. From day to day I feel the same hesitancy about writing it, so it is silly to think that more time passing will bring with it more comfort. While my largely open writing may have benefited many, I have changed as a person since completing my Project, and that recognition is going to make me alter drastically what I write here.

Privacy has always been a value to me, and of course I don't write everything here, but since entering my new life I have come to value privacy even more strongly than before and found more desire to keep things secret. For the past weeks this has been confounding me, for the type of information is nothing so unordinary that it would qualify as anything more deeply personal to be revealed, but still I just don't want to write it. Some certain persons having become aware of this blog may factor in, but largely my move to Texas has just made it so I don't want to be as open as I once was.

My theory as to why this is is that I've transitioned from being materialistically helpless to being independent. In the past when the Circumstance was still present there was little else I could do except talk and think about it, so my openness then was the result of my just disclosing the necessary information to have people judge my situation and offer the proper advice, and, later on, I was motivated to reveal yet more so that I could identify the philosophic roots that gave rise to my problems to begin with. In my new life I am no longer trapped, so any problem that comes my way is entirely defeatable with my own powers. I've whined enough already and need to drill into my mind that everything in my life is my own responsibility. The major difference in my last situation is that I was born into by default and had no hand in constructing things as they were. Because I am in little to no need of help or support in the spiritual sense, I have no urge to talk about my life as openly as I once did. Besides, it might be the best for my personal relationships, as keeping things private with my friends invests more emotional energy into the relationship and strengthens the bond.

This does not mean I'll be entirely secretive, however. Overall I am just going to be much more selective and strict in what I choose to keep private and what I don't. There will still be experiences and thoughts of light personal worth that will be written about, to entertain myself in writing and assist introspection, that should still serve of equal satisfaction for those that have appreciated my musings on self-help and psychology in the past.

Thankfully, by being vague there has been little to advertise about that piece, so hopefully no one is disappointed by my choice to abandon it. I hope you understand.

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