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Wednesday, July 20, 2011

On Riffing People

It surprises me to see that oftentimes people are blind to how they might be undermining their trustworthiness by engaging in petty behavior. Take, for case point, the instance of riffing a person out of their sight on some nonessential attribute of theirs, such as how they laugh, their weight, the sound of their voice, and so on. People have more than once come to me with the intention of establishing camaraderie by speaking of a known associate or nearby person in a joking and insulting way, but I feel repulsed. If they're so petty as to riff on so insignificant of attributes of a person's character, then what assurance do I have that I'm not being treated the same way when I'm out of sight? Not to neglect that it's indecent behavior, of course.

The act is made dishonest by witnessing these same people then conduct respectful relations with the person they previously riffed behind them. Such respectfulness is only a facade, for their true natures are hidden until that said person goes away once again. If only they knew.

When witnessing these petty people I am always perpetually skeptical of their trustworthiness. Needless to say, I conduct very hesitant and pretty shallow relations with these people.

After witnessing such actions I've made explicit to myself my own set of rules as to when I will and will not speak about another person. If I have virtues in mind, then I won't fear to praise them, even if they're in earshot. Vices, on the other hand, are a more specific matter. If it's a gross habit such as their picking their nose in my sight with a tissue, then I'll either address the matter with them or leave it be. If it's of concern such as their habits in the workplace, then I'll either address it to them or their superiors. If it's of intense concern like theft or the likes, then I won't be afraid to raise a ruckus. It is only when I have zero respect for them as a person that I feel free to riff someone, otherwise I try to do as little talking about other people as possible, to make my conduct with associates totally honest, even in their absence.

Always be aware that your actions that are seen are inevitably going to encourage people to draw conclusions on how you act when you aren't seen. If you take a person aside to needlessly riff another, then that person will have pretty good grounds of suspecting you doing the same to them, don't they?

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