Relying on Previous Percepts

I think I have been a little misguided regarding my thoughts on the necessity of percepts in my studies. Previously, I had thought that I would need to constantly be exposed to the same percepts over and over again in order to obtain objective knowledge, but now I've realized that there's a shortcut in the process. Simply, when dealing with perceptual-level concepts, I only need to observe enough instances of a concept in order to form it properly, by which then I can just depend on the mentally retained information.

Take the concept "chair" for instance. If you have formed this concept properly, then in speaking about it there's no need whatsoever for pictures. Picture in your imagination a rocking chair with the palest wood possible. I provided no picture for it, but since you've mentally retained the various attributes of a rocking chair you're still able to picture an instance of the concept. You're relying on previously seen percepts in order to deal with concepts in the present.

I see now that it isn't necessary for me to be exposed to particular percepts all the time, but rather that I only need enough percepts to form the concept, be reminded of its essentials, and to work with it. When I'm studying, say, a book that's pure words without pictures, the concepts are all that I need.

This will certainly make my study of Good Calories, Bad Calories a bit easier. In my prior post on percepts I mentioned that cholesterol is just an empty word to me since I've never experienced it (by touch, sight, smell, etc.). Now I know that all I would really need to do in order to form the concept properly is go online and seek photographs of the substance, perhaps even a few videos to see how it reacts to motion. Given my past knowledge of certain touch attributes (e.g. sponginess, syrupy, softness), verbal descriptions would be sufficient in order for me to fully ground the concept. Sure, it would be ideal for me to deal with the substance directly, but I have no inclination to seek out a medical clinic nor spin my own blood in a centrifuge. The above will be sufficient. Given my central purpose in life, what is really necessary of me is to have direct experience with certain cooking techniques and practices, as they are what will be most relevant to my mode of acting.

I think I'll alter my studies by keeping a running list of important concepts that I need to establish perceptuals for. For instance, if I come across "cholesterol" and "lipoprotein" in my readings and they are of significant importance to my understanding, I'll document them under "Percepts" and then later get online and look up perceptual instances of them. Think of this as a variation of my conceptual exercises with pictures; I might even need to look up multiple percepts in order to fully ground the concept(s).

There is still the question, however, as to how I should go about experimentation, which will soon be a part of my studies due to my central purpose in life. Of course, this is but merely a more complex version of obtaining percepts, but the procedures and whatnot still need to be worked out. Nonetheless, I am still glad that I have at least worked out the role of percepts to the extent above, as it will allow me to be more at ease with my studies due to more certainty.

Study Summary 9/24/10 to 9/30/10

Well I goofed yesterday and failed to bring you the implicitly promised one post per weekday that I have been doing these past weeks, though that's alright by my standards. My real aim is to publish a certain quantity of posts, so the whole posting once a day thing was a consequence, not a goal. Admittedly, I'm starting feel particularly wary of my writing and haven't been cranking out ideas for things to write about as I used to, so maybe it's time for me to introspect again on what role writing plays in my life.

Anyhow, I managed to accomplish all my study goals this week, but not quite all my personal goals. I've completed chapters eight and nine for The Journals of Ayn Rand along with fourteen conceptual exercises, and I've completed chapters seven and eight for Good Calories, Bad Calories along with ten conceptual exercises. Beyond this, I've also managed to complete a total of thirty minutes of math practice, dedicating seven and a half minutes each to addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division, and mostly completing the answers in my head before typing them down (which is the point). My copy of The Logical Leap arrived in the mail as well, so I've constructed a list of assignments for it. Finally, I've managed to stay off Facebook and Twitter until beyond 8 PM this entire week, though I've found little benefit in it.

All in all, I feel rather indifferent to these accomplishments. It's been a stressful week for me, as I've been overly bothered by the Circumstance, possibly destroyed a microwave, and feel like crap physically and mentally after a cake binge. Right now it just feels like I'm not progressing anywhere.

I definitely need to vary up my lifestyle more than it is right now. Since I'm doing studying in order to assist with my culinary endeavors, I might accidentally integrate into the emotional portion of my subconscious that my studying is disconnected from reality since I'm preparing for culinary endeavors that simply aren't happening right now. In other words, I'm doing a lot of preparing for cooking that isn't occurring. I should contemplate how to make my knowledge more relevant to my immediate realm of actions so that I can make it so that my learning is applicable to my life as soon as possible. Not only would this fuel motivation for my continued studies, but would also assist me in setting a hierarchy in my study subjects so that I can better determine what I need to immediately learn. I'll be thinking about this more this week.

As for the concern with writing I mentioned above, I think I've been losing track of my purpose in writing here, which is to help improve both my writing and thinking skills. Losing sight of such a pursuit has been making my writing seem more like a chore than an exercise, so not only have I been needing to push myself to write I've also been having a hard time coming up with subjects. The crux of my worry is exactly how much time I'm dedicating to it. A little while ago I skimmed an article that gave advice on how to write well and one of the points stated, "Write, and then squeeze everything else in." I don't want my life to be structured like that. I want to be, "Cook, and then squeeze everything else in." It's unnerving to think of writing as taking up such a great amount of time as that. Consequently, I've been rethinking my dedication to this blog. Perhaps once-a-weekday posting is too much to ask of myself.

My goals for the upcoming week will be set with these specific problems in mind. In the study realm, I'll pursue to complete two chapters of GCBC, whatever I can accomplish with The Logical Leap (I haven't started reading it yet, so I don't know what pace I can function), and to do a pure reading of one chapter of Journals. On that last point, I've come to regret taking up Journals as a formal study subject, as I find there's too much varied content in regards to offering an integrated education on any one subject. I thought about pursuing it regardless, but then I realized I only have one life to live, so I shouldn't spend my time studying subjects I don't think are worthy of intense study. As such, I'm reducing Journals to the status of a book to simply read, and will take notes and do conceptual exercises only as I fancy them.

Additionally, I'll aim to continue my pace with my math practice, but to reduce my obligation of blogging here to four posts for next week (posting two on Friday). Note that I said "obligation," which means I'm going to directly pursue only four posts this week, but may do five or six if I find the time and willingness. This reduction in blogging is to see if I can better manage my time and exert myself towards other things I've been neglecting.

As for Facebook and Twitter, I think any problems I've had before have had to do with the quantity of my logging on, rather than the time of day I did so. The reason why I imposed a restriction on when I may log on is because I've found in the past that I can significantly alter my mentality for the rest of the day depending on when I indulge in a particular activity. Playing video games before my studying was done, for instance, tended to eliminate my motivation for studying for the rest of the day, so I applied a general rule of avoiding certain activities until after a certain time. It's been beneficial, but is a bit restrictive since it prevents brief recreation during a break. As such, I think I'll make it a rule this week to not allow myself on Facebook and Twitter until 4 PM, and then, after logging on, not to allow myself on it again until after 8 PM. Going on after 4 PM can provide brief rest, and prohibiting any logging on after that will prevent me from abusing it.

Finally, I'll aim to pursue a solution to this whole applying knowledge to my life problem, in order to boost my competence and motivation. Right now I'm thinking I could construct some thinking/practice assignments that would concentrate on a specific portion of my learning at any particular time (e.g. looking for a real-life example of a logical fallacy I learned, immediately utilizing a new cooking technique, etc.), but we'll see.

If I add any more goals to this, I'll let you know by the next study summary. Onwards to a better week.

Chocolate Reassessment: Endangered Species' 88% Cacao

After having lasted me the entire summer, I've finally depleted my supply of Endangered Species 88% cacao dark chocolate and have had more thoughts on it. I confess that my tasting practices aren't as sophisticated as a true expert due to lack of knowledge, but I do try my best. If you remember, I reviewed this chocolate way back in July. My verdict back then was that it was worthy of having in one's pantry, but in comparison to other chocolates, like Lindt's 85%, it's crunchier and more bitter. My personal taste preference, at this level of darkness, is for a stronger hit of vanilla and a creamier mouth feel.

Well, after having multiple more tastings of this chocolate I have to say that I've reached a negative evaluation and have realized that I truly don't like this chocolate. Don't get me wrong: It's not terrible, it's just that my personal taste preferences have made it so that it leaves me indifferent. The cacao simply isn't all that powerful in this bar. Most of all, I detest the crunchiness, as its solidity prevents employing delicate taste practices: You have to munch it. I tried again to let a bite of it sit in my mouth and melt, and again it resisted my body heat with all its might. If you have the patience to suck on a square like a piece of hard candy you might derive more enjoyment, but I don't like the additional delay imposed beyond my unwrapping the bar.

In summation, this bar is simply weak. Perhaps my differing opinion is a result of my having consumed better chocolates and having set my standards according to those experiences.

This depletion of my chocolate supply, however, is not to say that I'm set to restock it: I still have several mint and Godiva bars to go through, so I'm set on them, though I do admit I'm reconsidering the mint bars. I've heard there's a distinct difference in mint intensity between mint extract and peppermint extract, so it's likely I'll try out other mint varieties to see if I can find something I like better. Don't be mistaken, as I still love ES' mint bar (its crunchiness is irrelevant since I seek mintiness in this context), it's just that I'd like a greater mint intensity. The more powerful the better.

As for when I'll return to my chocolate reviews again, I don't know. My Project is putting pressure on my finances, and right now I'm saving up for some delicious coconut water to treat myself. Honestly, I'd like to have it so that I'd have a new variety to talk about every week, but financial responsibility dictates otherwise. Consequently, my chocolate reviews will have to remain sporadic due to practical necessity.

Update on Honesty and Value-Oriented Conversations

It's been about a week now since I've stated my aspiration to keep a watch on my honesty and modes of conversation; how have I been doing?

Pleasantly, I haven't been doing too badly with my violations. Only every now and then do I give myself a slash mark, so I consider myself doing rather well. To my own perspective I think this makes me outwardly dull given my current development, but I think honesty is the first necessary requirement on the road to developing a flavorful self. Faking it may make for a more entertaining appearance in the short-term, but it would deprive me of achieving something so much more richer in the future.

Besides, I think I'm starting to see signs that this emphasis on honesty is actually improving both my sense of life and is making it more explicit. The best gestures of personality are the spontaneous and involuntary ones. In some instances I've felt a burst of emotion that I cannot help but display in a somewhat dramatic way.

This self-improvement venture may even be affecting my dreams. Recently I had a dream that me and a celebrity (Jason Alexander, "George" from Seinfeld) were running for our lives from assassins who wanted to kill us. Throughout its entirety I felt an authentic concern for the celebrity's life and refused to depart from him even as it increased my own chances of being killed. I was never once impressed with the person's celebrity status despite being aware of it the whole time, as I was only concerned with making sure his life was protected as well as mine; I even kept pace with his running even though I am much more fit than him. Given that I didn't know it was a dream and that I felt authentic emotion towards this man's well-being while believing myself in mortal danger, I consider this rather telling of my emotional nature. (It's a particularly striking dream since I perceived it as being my longest one ever at about 30-45 minutes, though who knows what that translates to in real-world time.)

Though this is not to say I'm out of the woods yet; work still must be done, so I'll continue to maintain my tracking practices in my notepad. Perhaps I might keep a tally of my honesty as a permanent practice even after I choose to reduce emphasis on value-oriented conversations. I'll continue on as I am now, to continue reinforcing this awareness into my everyday life.

The continuation of my Project may be holding me back from experiencing the full-effects of these practices, but, again, it's never a bad day to improve your life.

Dismissing the Negative

While I still like the principle of my thinking lists, I'm finding that putting them to practice is extremely difficult. Like the first time I tried employing them several years ago, I'm finding that I cannot generate any interest in guiding my thinking in accordance to the list, so it far too often has a null effect. Given the circumstances of my life right now, I consider this a problem particularly important to solve.

There are two main reasons as to why I wish to maintain thinking lists. For one, it's a matter of keeping myself productive at all times. At work, for instance, it is not always the case that there's a consistent stream of things for me to do or that I'll be able to break away from my task to do conceptual exercises (e.g. pulling chicken apart for soup), so during those activities in which I have the most time to guide my thinking I want to be able to guide my thinking productively. Secondly, I've cultivated the cumbersome habit of dwelling on the Circumstance towards which my Project is directed towards solving, which usually ends up souring my emotions and making me less productive. It is the second I regard as most important contextually, since I view it as one of the biggest roadblocks to my happiness (aside from the Circumstance) and idealized habits.

Honestly, such dwelling on the negative has been a problem for well over a year now. To recap, the Circumstance first invaded my thoughts when I was still in the process of trying to determine how to best and most effectively deal with it, and it continued to consume most of my hours of thinking since most of the things I've tried failed. Now that I've got the nearly fool-proof Project in place, I think it's best that I lose as much awareness as possible of the Circumstance, but I'm finding it difficult since it still exists in my life and still has an effect on me. It is during the moments in which I am engaged in free thinking, thinking away from the stimuluses of reading and writing, that I find it hard to keep my thoughts from that matter. For the sake of emotional health, it needs to stop.

My first thought of a solution was to try and restrict my thinking to only that which was on my thinking list or was before me in my endeavor as a way of prohibiting any irrelevant thinking. If I wished to change subjects, then the new topic must be written down beforehand. With how strict this methodology was, I was only able to maintain it for about half a day since the speed of my thoughts made it absolutely cumbersome to have to write down every single subject I wanted to think about, so I abandoned it. I managed to establish an inertia that kept my mind off the Circumstance that day, but it isn't sufficient for the long-term. The stimulus of change needs to be to my very lifestyle.

The list-keeping methodology advocated in Getting Things Done has given me an insight. According to the book, one of the things one must maintain meticulousness in is being sure to always check the appropriate to-do lists on a consistent basis so that one's subconscious will "trust" the lists and clear one's thoughts about them. I realize now that, despite my being consistent with my other checking, I hardly pay any continuous attention to my trigger lists (list of concepts) and thinking lists; I usually just stick them in my back pockets, be on my way, and only pull them off on the rare occasions that I think I need them. Consequently, my subconscious may not trust them as providing potential activities to complete, so they stay out of my normal thinking. If I were to check them more consistently, then perhaps I'd be more apt to productively utilize them. To try and defeat my dwelling on the negative, I'll add to my list of routine activities to check and edit both my trigger and thinking list to ensure that they remain constantly relevant and can provide fresh new things to exert my mind towards. Perhaps then I'll be more interested in thinking about the things on my thinking list.

Additionally, I've noticed that I have next to no difficulties in keeping my mind occupied while I'm engaged in an intellectual activity, like watching a movie, writing, studying, and so on. I should also strive to keep myself as occupied as possible in these realms to prevent myself from having periods of free thinking.

In fact, I think I could practically use my daydreaming as a guide as to when I should do some pure thinking about something (such as digesting the information from a study subject) or should move straight to the next activity I need to do. I've noticed that the content of my thinking and daydreaming alters pretty well in line with what I need to do. If I find that I'm interested in thinking about a particular subject, barring the Circumstance of course, then I can safely conclude that it is something I should think about. Also, now that I have more control over my daydreaming and have strengthened my ability to concentrate, when I daydream -- again, barring about the Circumstance -- it could serve as an indication that my mind needs rest. If I start to struggle and cannot comfortably guide my thinking or daydreaming to productive ventures or am dwelling on the Circumstance, then that probably could serve as a sign that I've petered myself out on what pure mental activities I was capable of and so need to get myself to another activity to occupy myself. Reading my mental workings this way may be the best way to comfortably guide my mental processes without straining or forcing myself.

But regardless of which is the most comfortable course to take, I recognize that there might be times in which I simply should exercise discipline and just force myself to guide my mental processes with the best of my will. Such moments will be extremely uncomfortable ones, but if my above musings are correct, then the amount of these moments can be potentially minimized, if not stopped altogether.

Success in this realm means being yet another step closer to my idealized self. It is of question as to how my mental state will be once I complete my Project and the Circumstance will have ceased affecting me, but for now I'm content to concentrate exclusively on dealing with matters as they are for now.

Altruism Doesn't Grow on Trees

Money has been on my mind a lot since I've taken up my Project, and I've learned a great deal about my attitude towards it. What would I do with a lot of it? Well, I'd get my Project done, save, invest in my culinary and general education, and start funding some of my entrepreneurial ideas. That's about it. I really can't imagine myself indulging in extravagant luxury other than gourmet food; primarily, I'd use the money to fuel my business aspirations and educational endeavors. If I were to become successful and rich in business, then I'd use that money for even more business aspirations, to simply pursue greater and greater achievements. Hedonism is furthest from my mind in thinking of riches, and I actually feel uncomfortable at the thought of inheriting a vast fortune rather than making my own.

Given my attitude, it makes me contemplate how terrible popular attitudes are. Predominantly it seems like people want a large pile of money -- with no means to obtain it specified -- so they can live the most hedonistic lifestyle they've ever dreamed of, which I consider to be similar in error to people who desire retirement: they take a momentary desire and inflate it to the point that they think they could spend a lifetime perpetually satisfying it. It's erroneous since it confuses a short-term desire with a long-term one. I'd perhaps be tickled to order the complete series of my favorite television show, Monk, and utilize more expensive ingredients in my cooking, but I know what I'd truly want is to do in life in master my culinary craft and become a masterful business owner, using money as the means and not the end.

The most pathetic attitude towards money I've observed, however, are those that want to use a fortune for altruistic ends. Of course, as an Objectivist you know I'm opposed to the morality of altruism, but that actually isn't important here; what I'm concentrating on is what this says about a person who holds this desire. Regardless of one's moral stance, at first sight this seems like a very well-intentioned desire, but upon further thought it can be seen how truly pathetic such a person would be. The particular person that I've observed who holds this desire doesn't give much consideration as to how they would obtain a vast fortune: He seems to want it to fall out of the sky. One time I even observed him express a desire to marry a particular person for the sole purpose of gaining a portion of that person's wealth.

After theoretically obtaining such pined-after wealth, by whatever means, I've then heard the person state that he would pursue to distribute it to his family. This seems comical to me: He wants to gain a fortune so he can promptly get rid of it? Since the means of obtaining said fortune isn't really specified, why not just hope that the whole family achieves wealth in their own realms and in their own way? Why does he desire to be the sole distributor of the money he wants everyone to have?

I realize now that he desires to cheat morality by finding an effortless shortcut to implementing it. Altruism requires its practitioner sacrifice his values for the sake of other men, and to, most importantly, not keep any values for himself lest he be selfish. Since a value-oriented life is the only possible way to achieving happiness, altruism necessarily leads to pain. Imagine if you had spent weeks saving up for a meal at your favorite restaurant, only to drop the saved money in a Salvation Army tin situated in front of the restaurant's door. It is, again, irrelevant to this particular topic as to how one views this action morally, for what I'm trying to point out is that such an action leads to frustration. This is the essence of altruism, in which it demands you "Give until it hurts." Nobody enjoys practicing altruism: the people who act in accordance to it consistently will suffer from losing their values, and the people who betray it but still believe it to be ideal will suffer in guilt.

The person above who desires a vast fortune for him to distribute recognizes, at least subconsciously, that altruism is a painful practice, so he's looking for a pain-free way to implement it and easily obtain the status of moral saint. With a large fortune, he supposes, he could easily "sacrifice" his monetary values and take the fast road to becoming virtuous. Perhaps he might even think that he can skim off the excess as a little treat for himself.

Altruism, however, doesn't work like this. Morality, all moralities, depend on constant and consistent practice. You can't just accumulate a "score" and expect to be able to sit still eternally at one moral status. After the fortune disappears, the person would no longer have riches to distribute, but altruism would still demand him to continue his sacrificial practices, again painful. Even if the person did devise a deliberate pace at which to distribute his riches, in order to ensure he has riches to give until his death, he would still be suffering from the guilt that he's not fully practicing altruism; you have to give all your values in one fell swoop, so any lesser action will prevent a person from being virtuous according to this standard.

The thing that truly sticks out to me in all of this, however, is how absolutely pathetic this person has shown himself to be in desiring the easy way out of the practice of his morality. Even if he could achieve virtue by this standard, it still would be far from an admirable action. What is admirable is to observe people of strength accomplishing difficult feats, not weak, petty people engaging in effortless distribution. That this person desires to practice morality in absolutely the weakest fashion is reprimandable.

But could this perhaps be a mentality present in the culture in general? If so, then how atrocious. It certainly isn't a recipe for a nation of people to try and develop themselves in the strongest way possible. That means the rest of us that do want to become strong will also have to bear the weight of those who do not, both in business and culture.

If I had a million dollars I unashamedly admit that I would spend it on myself, but not in hedonism or to try to somehow counter the need for effort. My aim would be to keep myself alive and to develop myself in the best possible way, better improved with a fortune. (Recorded lectures aren't cheap!) For now I'd truly and honestly settle perfectly content with bare sustenance, to get my Project done and to concentrate on my studies and culinary practices. Getting rich can wait for later; there's work to do first.

Study Summary 9/17/10 - 9/23/10

This week I managed to complete chapters six and seven of Journals of Ayn Rand, completing fifteen conceptual exercises afterward, and chapter six of Good Calories, Bad Calories, completing ten conceptual exercises afterward. Goal-wise, I fell but one short: I managed to construct five posts for this blog (including this one), look up an oversight of computer programming and request a book, complete two chapters of Journals, establish a separate journal for a specific entrepreneurial idea I have, and document the entirety of my online recipes to Plummelo, but I did not complete two chapters of GCBC. All in all, I'm proud of my consistency and pacing, but believe that I could still be more rigorous in my efforts and push harder.

Unlike last week, this week I have the pleasure of knowing that my coming up short was a result of my own inadequate efforts rather than physical malfunctions. My brain felt fine except for some pleasurable burning and twitching, so I simply didn't push hard enough to pursue matters. Also, I wasn't rigorous enough due to my having foolishly become aware of the Thursday deadline (for this article) and so have hurried up a portion of my studies for the sake of getting it "done." There is still a need for me to not be aware of time while I study, I see, and I should be more careful to get to my work earlier so as to have plenty of time to lose myself in it.

GCBC continues to show its worth as a study subject. Though each chapter is of a moderate length, I generate quite a bit of notes from the reading and am quite mentally stimulated the whole time. There is still the difficulty, however, of me not keeping well enough track of concrete facts and switching to broad integrations, so I must continue my efforts to improve there. Overall, I'm having no problems of real concern with this study section.

Journals, however, leaves more to be desired. I'm starting to wonder whether or not it's really a subject truly worthy of study. The chapters are substantially longer than those in GCBC, and yet I can hardly come up with more than a few lines' worth of notes. A lot of the material is redundant due to my having studied Objectivism for a few years now, and the chapters regarding her notes during certain books bores me and seems more appropriate for fans interested in a less-intense reading than I'm currently doing. Nonetheless I will stick with it since I believe the wide variety of content offered in this book will yield something worthwhile here and there, and I am gaining good insight on my own character regardless.

For next week I will again try to complete two chapters each of Journals and GCBC, as well as accomplish several personal goals, though I may add to the list mid-week if I determine it appropriate (but will refrain from subtracting from it, for the sake of integrity). Among those other goals will be to include two sessions of mental math practice (I haven't written about it yet), to organize the topics I need to write about in my special entrepreneurial journal (and start some entries), restrict my Facebook and Twitter activities to times only after 8 PM, and to do some career research, which I think I should keep private for now due to its connection to the Project. As for the writing pace on this blog, I'm conflicted. On one hand, I know I'm perfectly capable of maintaining five posts per week, but on the other I have to wonder about the benefits and whether its cutting into time I could be spending otherwise. Perhaps I'm not making my writing valuable enough, to both me and the reader. For right now, I'll aim to continue the pace.

Onwards, then, to contributing to the sum of life.