Baked "Fried" Chicken

Here's a strange recipe I tried recently: Baked "fried" chicken. I've been wanting some fried chicken lately, but since I rent a room I only have so much refrigerator and pantry space, so there's not enough room for a tub of lard for frying grease. I remembered reading a recipe titled the same way as this post, only I didn't read the recipe, so I just made up the steps as I went along.

Essentially, you just make fried chicken as you ordinarily would, what with the flour and seasonings (coconut flour is my choice), only you put the chicken in the oven instead of a hot pan of grease. I baked mine for approximately 45 minutes atop a cooling rack perched on a baking sheet.

It came out near perfect, though not quite. The meat was perfectly cooked and the flour retained its delicate sweetness, but some of the pieces still had that "powdery" look to them as if the flour hadn't cooked at all. I was depending on the chicken fat to moisturize the flour and cause the Maillard reaction, but the results were overall mixed. Some pieces came out golden and gorgeous; others looked as if they were just freshly floured. Thankfully this only seems to be an aesthetic problem, as when I ate some of the powdery pieces they didn't come off as dry, dusty, or gritty in the least, so I just need to find a way to make this recipe look better. At first glance, I think that next time I'll flip all the pieces over and rotate the pan halfway throughout the cooking, and perhaps it might be beneficial to actually take the chicken out and take a spray bottle of fat to the surface (don't do it while it's in the oven, otherwise the fat could ignite).

Flavor-wise it's not much different than actually fried chicken, but I'm attracted to this method due to it lesser prep and cleanup (no grease), and reduction in expense since no lard needs to be bought. You get the same pleasure with a lesser hassle, though an increased cooking time. Unless I can identify actual benefits or differences that comes with pan frying other than cooking time I think I just may do "fried" chicken this way from now on.

Potato Chip Fried Chicken

Potato Chip Fried Chicken

Prep + cook: 35-40 minutes

Servings: 2-3

Ingredients:

- 1 whole chicken (I love dissecting them myself)

- Paprika

- Garlic

- 1 large bag of potato chips, though not bulk size. I used Kettle's, which is pretty good.
- 2 beaten eggs
- Oil for cooking, enough to make a half or quarter inch deep pool in a cast iron pan
-Pinches of salt

1.) Pull out your cast iron pan and melt the grease on medium heat (mine is index five) while you prep the chicken.

2.) Take the potato chips and process the entire bag in a food processor, or else mash them manually into crumbs. Only allow yourself to eat one or two, as you'll pretty much need the entire bag for a whole chicken. Even a handful less leaves you with too little. Store crumbs in a large bowl.

3.) In a separate bowl, beat the two eggs.

4.) Take your disassembled chicken and season it liberally with the paprika and garlic to taste, but be conservative with the salt. I omitted added any more salt since the chips are already salted, but I think the grease will wash a lot away.

5.) Dip all the pieces in the beaten egg and then evenly coat with the crumbs. Do not allow for time to sit.

6.) Immediately transfer pieces to skillet and cook with the skin side down first for 10-12 minutes, but check often. Arrange pieces so that thickest ones are either in the deepest parts of the pan (if your stove is unlevel) or closest to the heat source. Flip and then let it cook for 4-5 minutes more or until meat thermometer indicates desired temperature.

7.) If you run out of room in the pan and have to do batches, then do further pieces the same way, only cook them five minutes on each side. The grease having been used once and made impure will make the cooking go a lot faster. Unlike other cooks, I cook the entire chicken, so I usually reserve the back for this. Don't waste!

8.) Let rest for a couple minutes or serve immediately.

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To tell you the truth I'm not too fond of this recipe, but I'm not sure whether or not it's due to the recipe in itself or because I'm currently suffering from magnesium irritation, which may be making my taste buds unresponsive to things such as the minerals in sea salt. In my own trial it just tasted too potato-ie without the salt (which may have washed off, being bad since I didn't add any of my own), and I didn't season it enough. It tasted pretty bland, though was nice enough with the saltshaker at hand.

Aesthetically, on the other hand, it really works. The crust turns a beautiful gold and looks crunchy while in actuality being soft. A slightly messy eat, however, as pieces go everywhere at each bite. To give my best evaluation I'll have to try this recipe sometime again with the added salt and when I get over my magnesium irritation. -- And I'll only have to eat one or two chips, as I took too many out this time.

Strangely enough, I didn't come to love fried chicken until I went paleo. I was never too fond of the white flour alternatives; things such as coconut and almond flour, I believe, make it much better. Alton Brown's recipe is awesome and induced in me one of my peak food experiences. To make it moo-paleo accessible is easy: Just swop out the low-fat buttermilk with full-fat and the white flour with coconut flour, almond flour, crushed pork rinds, crushed potato chips, or whatever else you think of; sky's the limit. No changes in procedure are necessary, though I do recommend soaking the chicken in the buttermilk stored in a large, durable zip-top bag rather than a solid container alone for more even coverage.

This is one of my favorite basic recipes of all, so I'd like to continue tinkering with it in the future, trying things such as macadamia flour, cashew flour, Brazil nut flour, and so on. So many variations! But as of now, I don't know what to think of this particular one.

Whatever the case, at least I got to practice my knife skills in cutting up a chicken carcass. I'm getting better and faster at it, though only having a large chef knife leaves me at a loss for how to effectively remove the wish bone. Oh well, that's what further practice is for.

Another Bacon Tongue Explosion

I made another Bacon Tongue Explosion and tried to see if I could fix the problems I had last time. This time I slow-roasted the tongue in a slow-cooker for three hours instead of trying to par cook it in boiling water, and roasted it while rolled up in the bacon for about twenty minutes at 350 degrees. It turned out pretty good, but I need more patience.

I probably should have roasted it for four or five hours, because the skin wasn't ready to peel off yet when I got impatient and pulled it. Additionally, the roasting did do a good job of cooking the bacon without overcooking the tongue, but next time I'll go with 30-35 minutes of roast time in order to get a crispy shell. Despite my errors, it was still good, and I ate the whole thing before the day was done. Call me strange, but I hardly mind the skin at all; my attempt to peel it off is only to practice aesthetics and texture for my developing chefdom. But even if you don't mind the skin either, make sure to cut up thoroughly any pieces you put in the microwave, otherwise the pressure will build up and cause a concussive explosion sufficient to destroy the microwave. That's one lesson I'll only need to learn once.

At the very least, I did solve one problem. Last time I mentioned that it was hard to make this dish aesthetically pleasing since the bacon grid kept coming apart as I tried to roll it over the tongue. Well, I remembered watching how Alton Brown rolled a cookie dough once, so I constructed the bacon grid on parchment paper and then pulled the paper over the tongue to do the rolling for me. Worked beautifully and made everything much more attractive, regardless of how awkwardly the tongue might be shaped. I'll do this from now on with all Bacon Explosion variations.

All in all, still a recipe in progress.

Smooth Cinnamon Cashew Butter

Smooth Cinnamon Cashew Butter

Prep + cook: 10 -15 minutes

Servings: - 

Ingredients:

12 ounces of whole cashews

2 tsp cinnamon (I used one, but think it needs more)

1 tsp of salt

Light olive oil to control viscosity

1.) Set an ungreased frying pan on medium-high heat and toast the cashews, stirring frequently, until they're golden brown and their aroma escapes into the air. Evacuate into cooling area, like a baking sheet. 

2.) Pour all the cashews into the food processor, add the salt and cinnamon, and process it until it reaches the consistency of cashew flour, the farthest it will go without additional fat.

3.) Incorporate the olive oil at a rate of 2 tsps per pour and pause for ten seconds to see what affect it has on the consistency. Continue until the desired consistency is reached. At some point the cashews will form a ball that will bounce around the food processor: Don't be alarmed; it'll go away once the fats are more evenly distributed.

4.) Scoop the cashew butter into a storage vessel and refrigerate or enjoy immediately. I enjoy spooning it on 100% cacao baking chocolate.

* * * * * 

Modern Paleo has published my piece on making nut butter. Go check it out! In short, it's incredibly cheaper to make your own, gives you control over the process, and opens up a world of options. Got a food processor and some jars? With some oil for certain nuts, that's really all you need. 

Bacon Heart Explosion

Note: Not optimized recipe; this cites merely what I did.

Bacon Heart Explosion

A meatloaf made with ground beef heart, wrapped entirely in bacon.

Prep: 10-20 minutes

Cook time: Approx. 2 hours

Servings: About 8

Ingredients:

2 pounds of thick cut bacon

2 pounds of ground beef heart

1 egg

Approximated coconut flour

2 tsp. of salt

2 tsp. (or tbsp!) of chili powder

2 tsp. garlic powder

1 tsp. onion powder

1.) Preheat the oven to 275 degrees. You don't want the bacon to crispify or burn before the beef is cooked, so slow is the way to go.

2.) Lay out the bacon in a weave format on a baking sheet. To do that: First, lay one pound in a row going down the width of the pan. To interlace the other pound, pull back every other strip of bacon and then lay one strip down facing in a perpendicular direction, and then lay down the pulled back strips over on top. Pull back the other columns and repeat in this in an alternating fashion until you run out of room or bacon. It should look similar to this when finished. 

3.) Put the ground heart in a large mixing bowl, drain off any fluids, and message in the spices, seasoning, and egg. Afterward, message in the coconut flour -- just add in the barest amount to make it retain any fluids or egg, or skip altogether if everything integrates fine. Place the beef on the bacon grid.

4.) Now form the whole thing into a log. You can accomplish this by either hand-molding the beef heart into a log -- making sure it's as wide as the bacon weave -- moving it to one end, and then wrapping the weave around it, or you can flatten the heart out into the same shape and dimensions as the bacon weave and then form the log as you roll. I opted for the former.

5.) Stick a roast thermometer in the center and roast for one to two hours, until the temperature reaches that of your desired meat doneness. Beef heart may be an organ meat, but it's still beef, so treat it like regular hamburger and judge accordingly.

6.) Optional: broil on high the last few minutes to get a crispy bacon top.

7.) Slice and serve immediately!

I first heard of the Bacon Explosion through another paleo-minded friend of mine and have been intrigued with it. I did try the pork sausage version minus the barbecue sauce with great success, but I must admit that I prefer the beef heart version, as it's cheaper, more nutritious, and more to my taste. It's quite filling and satisfying, so it works great for normal dinners, dinner parties, or single-person meals if you want a lot of leftovers. I definitely enjoy this for breakfast.

I need to work on my spice portioning, however. The salt I think is perfect, but I could have done better to up the chili powder, my current favorite spice blend, and the garlic and onion powder. The beef didn't have much body, which left the bacon to dominate. Also, I forgot to fry up my leftover bacon for integration inside the loaf and so neglected a flavor opportunity there. I won't forget that for next time. I might also ditch the onion powder for chopped onions next time as well. 

Functionally, I considered this recipe mastered, as I can create the bacon weave, form the loaf, and all, but still haven't mastered flavor optimization, so I'll definitely be toying with this recipe in the future. I might even try a version with a different type of meat, like beef tongue. Or heck, why not a blend of heart and tongue? 

While this meal may seem indulgently expensive it's actually a bargain. I can get beef heart for 99 cents a pound at my local grocery store/slaughter house and grind it myself, and if I buy the bacon in bulk it only costs $2.49 a pound. The high fat content of this meals makes for great leftovers for a single person, so you could go at it for three to four days easily. Try it with some fried or scrambled eggs and some kale chips. 

I haven't got into making any sauces yet, so I certainly need to work to formulate a paleo-friendly one, most likely a type of hot sauce. I'll probably get to making this again in a very short time.