Final Weekly Summary: Ceasing the Blog

You read that right: I intend to make this my final weekly summary, and in addition to that I also plan on ceasing this blog. I won't say "quit" outright because I'm not sure it's that; rather, I'm just breaking myself from the regular commitment to blogging seven days a week or even on a regular basis, and I believe that in time will lead to me ceasing writing here altogether. The reason why I'm doing this is because I'm absolutely in love with my Galt's Gulch project and have realized that it'll require such serious effort and energy that I need to change my habits drastically in order to give it my best dedication. And one such thing I'm giving up is this blog.

I've always said that I did this writing for my own intellectual benefit given how good for the mind writing is, but after evaluating my efforts I see now that I'm not going about it in the most constructive manner possible, which is leading to massive time sinks, struggles, and wasted efforts. My trial to keep this blog updated seven days a week, for instance, is what I see now has been holding back my reading habits, as the writing swallows up my time and reduces my desire to continue productivity thereafter. After making this decision -- which is why I didn't publish an article yesterday -- I felt a weight lift off my mind that led to me reading a humongous amount from my books with near unfettered concentration and a complete absence of guilt.

Galt's Gulch not only demands more of my energy and time than I should be dedicating to blogging, it also provides a very helpful focal point which has given immense clarity to how I should be acting in all areas of my life. Ever since I completed the Project I have been very aimless in my efforts, setting hodge podge goals and acting in every which direction, without any real integrated end in mind. I've probably been stumbling due to my stretching myself in so many ways, and have felt nearly omnipresent discomfort in the prospect that I'm not developing my character for some ultimate goal in mind. Well, Galt's Gulch offers that point to concentrate my routines around, and it provides that ultimate goal to which I'll cultivate my character for. I can't be spending so many hours blogging aimlessly on here when there's so much work and learning to do.

However, I am not abandoning you altogether. I want to keep writing . . . but more about chocolate. The chocolate reviews are by far the most enjoyable pieces I write here, and I probably don't get good views here since the audience is way mismatched. Since my articles by and large aren't about chocolate, it should be a given that my audience by and large isn't here for the chocolate stuff. What a sore injustice I do to my writing. As such, I've purchased a domain and am going to continue blogging more frequently on chocolate at my own website, which will hopefully generate enough income to at least fund a sustaining queue of chocolate to review, which will be my minimum financial goal. Also, I might keep blogging on here, but only as I'm moved: This seven days a week stuff is a real chore! I have one last article in mind, so I can at least promise you that.

I feel a lot better since making this decision since I feel like I'm being rationally productive now. This farm project adds more clarity to what I want to do with my whole life, and in that realization I know better as to what I should be doing to get there. In fact, this project may shape the direction of my life in a way I didn't expect it to, causing me to already begin contemplating 10-20 year plans.

My spirit is aflame with vigor and joy. I don't think I've ever been this excited for anything in my life, and I've never felt aspiration as I do now. When I picked up my first homesteading book I read a huge amount of it with possibly the longest lasting session of intense concentration I have ever held. My mind feels absorbing and all-powerful. In order to pay true justice to this new love of mine, I must readjust myself in a way that keeps my nose on the goal, even if it means making myself scarce to you.

I hope you won't miss me, and that you'll find enjoyment in my upcoming chocolate blog. Heck, I might choose to blog on my project's progress regularly here, but still our company will be less frequent.

After a long delay, here's the list of goals I tackled this week, since this is a weekly summary after all:

1.) Skim Beyond Brawn, I'm Just Here for More Food, and two special books: The two special books in question are The Backyard Homestead and Mini Farming, which I kept secret since I didn't reveal the project then. I browsed everything except I'm Just Here for More Food, and actually got quite a bit of reading done. Having this project seems to have improved my mental powers somehow, as I read better than I ever had since moving to Texas. Maybe the vigor of my spirit is enhancing my intellect?

2.) Read at least one chapter of Culinary Artistry : Yep, and I really enjoyed it. What with all the books I have to read I'm not sure if I'll finish it before it's due, but as preparation I might buy it anyways to have it on hand.

3.) Sketch and brainstorm plans for project: Done. Super fun. I brainstormed things such as what I need to learn, what livestock I want, what produce is appealing to me, what I need to do, and more. I need to order up the chaos a little bit, however.

4.) Go to farmers market: Done, but I have yet to go to the one coming up tomorrow. I didn't get much in the way of talking, but it was still a valuable visit in that I got a lot of fruit samples that helped me consider produce possibilities. I'll go back on a busier day to see if I can talk up someone. There's a guy there who sells pasture-raised meat and raw milk cheese.

5.) Conduct two chocolate tastings and review: Done, and yes, I want to make it a permanent practice. It made me realize just how much I enjoy writing chocolate reviews, so from now on I want to be doing this more often. I'm frightened at the prospect of depleting my queue in a hurry, but I guess that's just a risk I'll have to take to see if I can get some business value out of it.

* * * * *

Since this is the final weekly summary I'm not going to bother sketching new goals out for you to read, though to be sure I will keep up the habit of setting weekly goals for myself, witnesses or not.

Until next time: See you later.

My Next Major Endeavor: The Galt's Gulch Project

I won't bother to delay you with an introduction: The major project noted in my last weekly summary is that of a small-scale, self-sustaining farm. I either want to be the head of one or involved intricately in one (I'll pursue the former first most and with the most energy, and settle for the latter if time proves too short. Given whatever climate and soil I settle upon -- I may or may not stay in Texas for it -- I want to establish myself in a way so that I'm producing and feeding myself my own produce, dairy, and livestock, and, heck, even cultivating some ornamental horticulture for comfort. This I consider this to be my next major endeavor beyond the past Project that brought me to Texas, and I'd consider it my five to ten year plan, though I want to make progress on it as rapidly as possible. The prospect is very exciting to me, as I consider it extremely educational and healthy, and, most importantly, relevant to my culinary central purpose in life.

Why do I want to do this? Well, a little back story on my life in Texas to make things clearer:

Ever since I moved to Texas I have to admit that I've transitioned to being depressed about the state of the world, and of course I hid it from everyone, including you Emotionally I have been totally consistent like this, for intermixed would be themes of energetic contentment for the good present and positive future, but sore moods have been frequent still. The Project -- you know, with the uppercase P -- solved the longest-lasting, most deleterious set of problems I've had to face in my life, and in getting out of that situation I've been severely disappointed that in finally being set free from one problem I had to face the unfairness of transitioning into another: The collapse of the economy and the decline of the world. As I say often around here I'm optimistic about the future, that America can eventually come through, but, like I mentioned in yesterday's post, the storm on the way there seem far too daunting, severe, and long-term to be endurable, so I've spent the last few months in trying to build strength to face that prospect. The intensity of the contentment I've received from surmounting such difficult problems as the ones I faced a few months ago were enough to convince me that life is worth living and that even higher rewards are achievable in life, so even with a troublesomely low spirit I've been pressing on to steel and repair myself, and figure out how to deal with matters.

The most difficult coping point has been with my career. However fuzzily thought-out it may be for now, you and I know that I want to be in the culinary field, and the transition there means building up my knowledge and skills in the hot kitchens of restaurants. Gotta cook to learn to cook and be a cook. The severity of the economic storm to befall our heads, I fear, will put a significant amount of restaurants out of business and deal a severe blow to the food supply. Given that I've just started, it's a scary prospect as to what might happen to someone as low on the ladder as I, and it's further worrisome to think of what practice I'll be deprived of by a restricted and expensive food supply, which would make it more difficult for me to actually cultivate cooking skills. Sure, I know that life is so well worth living that even if I have to start in my thirties or forties it'll be worth waiting for, but how much potential would be involuntarily sacrificed? How lesser will my accomplishments be? Will my growth stagnate and retrogress? Largely I've been focusing on the here and now to get my mind off matters, for it's not helpful or constructive to fret about matters constantly, and a significant portion of my contemplation has been directed towards just what I can do to protect myself -- spirit, wealth, and body -- from this storm that approaches. I am of scant means financially, so most of my time has been spent in just thinking about strategies rather than implementing them.

One day I made a rather intriguing discovery while on break from work. I work in a shopping conglomerate, so as a ritual pleasure and means to mental refreshment I tend to take a walk during my breaks after I lunch, and routinely I'll enter the bookstore to browse the shelves. As you might guess, I tend to like the cooking aisle best, and visit it on most regular occasion in opposition to the others. One day I noticed near the end of the aisle they had this book, turned face out, called Homesteading. It was intensely interesting to me, moving me to at least want to make a note of it, but it didn't give me very many ideas at the time or emotionally register deeply. Still: It planted a unique seed of thought in my mind, and for reasons unknown to me I kept revisiting this "homesteading" idea sort of thing. It kept lingering in my mind, and in some vague form or another I kept remembering my interest in that book, though at the time I don't think I had the foresight to document its title and editor.

Just a short few days ago during a walk the puzzle pieces fell together. Somehow or another I was contemplating my longing for my old favorite cooking show, Good Eats. In specific I thought about the episodes where Alton Brown robbed a tomato farmer during tomato season, and then another in which Mr. Brown was overwhelmed by endless cucumbers from the same farmer. It may have been the single image in my mind of seeing the farmer push a wheelbarrow of cucumbers that ignited my thought process. I then revisited memories in my childhood where I remembered comments from my elders about how abundant some relatives' gardens were: How when the vegetables came to ripeness and season they were overwhelmed by their number and had the annoying difficulty of trying to dispose of them and give them away. I then remembered the word "homesteading" and everything came together: Given my central purpose in life and the position of the economy, it would be unbelievably practical and spiritually fulfilling to establish and nurture a small-scale, self-sustaining farm. My mind started reeling with ideas, causing me to prolong the walk and continue the rest of it in heightened spirits and a near-smile. Whatever angle I looked at it, I cannot see a single thing that would be objectionable to me in it: I wouldn't mind the hard labor, the learning, the frequent upkeep, the variety of skills to learn, or anything.

Look at it in the light of my central purpose in life and career ambitions: In a time where the economy is about to go to pot and the food supply possible kaput, would it not be practical to nurture a style of living where I could produce more food than I could possibly consume and have a large scale of raw materials to practice cooking with? In the end, this would allow me to not only stay fed and physically healthy during bad times, but to also continue moving forward in gaining my desired knowledge, skills, and abilities regardless of whether or not there's a business climate to cater to it. For example, instead of being disappointed in how difficult it is to afford red peppers at Walmart, I could grow a whole smorgasbord of them and have all the soup, pickles, sauces, and whatever else I want. It's an irritation to, say, goof up on cutting what few bell peppers I might obtain, but in growing them the waste in error is minimized and the opportunity for practice is maximized.

To make things easier, why don't I put it all in list format?

1.) It's relevant to my purpose in life: Honestly, I'm not sure where I stand in regards to culinary creativity. I don't often go about daydreaming new dishes and the like, though still enjoy the process of it nonetheless. More interesting to me is the scientific aspect: Why foods are the way they are, how they react to heat and cooling, how they respond to certain methods of cooking . . . how they're produced and manufactured. This farming endeavor wouldn't at all be a sidetrack to my central purpose in life, but in actuality a relevant pursuit beneficial to it. My emotional reaction to this project has been so strongly positive that I'm wondering if there's something deeper in meaning here, for I almost think that I'd take this endeavor on even if it were economically prosperous times.

Aside from all the learning and unique skills I'd obtain, I would also be given an immense amount of resources for culinary practice. I already had the desire to learn how to slaughter and butcher livestock months before I conceived of this project, so it wouldn't inconvenience me in the least to take on such learning as part of a lifestyle change. And hey, out of it I'd get to practice such dishes as leg of lamb, headcheese, roasted tenderloin, crown roast, and more, all the fruits of my labor.

And who knows? Maybe in my learning and skill nurturing I could come up with some unique innovations to advance my efforts and perhaps profit from in more prosperous times. And maybe even more basic heating methods, like wood fires instead of electrical appliances, could cultivate better skills just like how one's mathematical intellect can be improved in forgoing a calculator. (I don't want to give up electricity and live Amish, but I'll prepare for that case scenario if I'm forced into it.)

2.) It's practical: In this day and age we're largely depending on other people to make our food for us. Even if we're cooking from scratch, we're often at least depending on a farmer to raise the meat or grow the produce. In the worst of times their ability to produce goods for the economy could be severely undermined, if not halted, and starvation could become a real threat in our country. But as mentioned earlier, even a tiny little garden is more than sufficient for producing more produce than one can consume . . . so aside from being applicable to my ultimate happiness, this project would also be good for keeping me fed and healthy, as while stores are depleted my own labors for my own consumption can be abundant.

3.) It's Paleo: A minor consideration in the grand scheme of things, but one still important and worthwhile, and something contributing to my excitement about the project. Not only would I keep a sustaining diet, I'd also be able to continue living on the standards of Paleo nutrition: fresh fruits and vegetables, pasture raised meat and eggs, full-fat and raw dairy, and so on. If anything, I think I would actually get healthier than I am now living this way, for my dependency on other producers right now, tight finances, and limited options keeps me living on a sub-optimal diet, such as by eating minimal beef, having grain-fed and pasteurized butter and cream, and so on. I've been living on the Paleo diet for a long time now, but I don't think I've gotten all the health benefits I can out of it yet.

4.) It would help me retain my physique: Another point of concern is what could happen to my body during bad times. Bodybuilding is one of my hobbies: I love going to the gym, working out, and growing my strength and muscles. I love how it makes me look and feel, and how it makes everyday functions get easier and easier, such as the heavy lifting at work or running up stairs. And according to my understanding, weight lifting is the most practical form of exercise, as using only your body (e.g. pushups, situps, etc.) severely restricts how intensely you can work it -- you can increase your intensity faster and more beneficially with heavy iron than with earth's gravity and your weight. It could also actually be harmful by way of releasing destructive hormones through the increased repetitions your body will need in order to have an adaptive response and build muscle (e.g. more and more situps as your abs develop). Losing access to weights, could my muscles not wear away, due to both lack of proper intensity and undernourishment?

Well, some hard farm work ought to fix that right up. Now right now my plan is to be small-scale and for private use only, so I might be more apt. to use manual, basic tools over electrical and large-scale ones, especially as the future of electricity and fuel prices/availability is questionable. Given the reward of the effort, I wouldn't mind all the work involved in such a process, especially at it would allow me to maintain a muscular physique and perhaps even add to it. However, if I still somehow had gym access and a reasonable means to traveling there and paying for it, I'd probably still do formal exercise too to ensure muscle balance and all-around development. I'll do more exercise research since it is my hobby after all, but I think I could find some ways to endure the stress, such as cold showers to eliminate soreness, overheating, and fatigue. I've already adapted to the point that intense workouts hardly make me sore now and don't interfere with my labors at my current job.

5.) It would put me in a position to barter: One thing someone mentioned about economic collapses in the past in that some people have had to resort to bartering again in order to bypass worthless currency, and a point I've heard about the US is that we're not involved enough in the manufacture of basic necessities in order to be able to engage in bartering like this. And iPod for your flat screen, sir?

I will surely desire goods outside of my garden, so when approached with the opportunity I would have the means for trade. Taking for granted an abundance stored at home (I'll probably have farmhands for security), I would have the means to barter with other people, hopefully farmers who have what I don't. Steak for your avocados? How about this bacon for your olive oil and pecans?

A nice, secondary protection.

6.) I'd be a part of the economic solution: Another aspect I've heard that's fueling our economic ills is that we're based too much in the consumption of goods rather than production. While my plans are to grow and raise for private consumption and bartering, I would nonetheless be a part of the base solution by joining in the manufacturing industry, producing rather than being in service.

And for some strange reason I have to admit the prospect of becoming a producer is adding to my excitement. I've been thinking about the book Atlas Shrugged lately and don't think I've been doing a very good job producing values, so this project also appeals to my philosophical appreciation of the virtue of production.

7.) In better times, it'd help me retain a competitive advantage: I may be optimistic for the future, but a future beyond this project is fuzzy for me at the moment, so I can imagine anything. Vaguely at least I can imagine leaving my farm at some point -- unless I integrated a restaurant into it somehow (ooh!) -- and reentering the professional food service industry. At that point I may not have worked in a restaurant for some years, maybe a decade or more (the future is uncertain when left to a politician's whim), but at the end of it all I'd still be able to put on my resume the fantastic dishes I made with my own homemade stuff, the knife skills I nurtured by cutting endless vegetables, how I butchered my own animals and ate them nose-to-tail (throw away nothing!), how I created and thickened sauces with my own herbs and starches, and so on. I might not be actively involved in the restaurant industry for some time, but that time spent away would not be wasted: I'd still be building up a repertoire of knowledge and skills that should unfailingly impress any employer given their nature.

8.) It would be a spiritual comfort: This actually builds on point number one in being relevant to my happiness, but it emphasizes the more negative aspect. This project is not totally idyllic: There's still going to be a lot of stress, discomfort, and pain involved in it, not in its actual exertions but in knowing what's happening to the world in general. I'll take security measures, but I'll certainly worried about being robbed or murdered if the atmosphere becomes dangerous. I'll also worry about America's disastrous foreign policy, whether or not America will actually be subject to foreign invasion. And hey, I'll definitely worry about whether or not America will actually pull through in the end: I believe in strongly that we can win, but also know that we can lose. Worries, worries, worries . . . and, of course, I'll still be involved in activism too, not just idly worrying. 

This project would be soothing by keeping me in contact with my most essential values: Cooking, learning, self-improvement, Paleo living, body building, and more. I might have to give up some big values like chocolate, as chocolate is imported, but the stuff listed above is what's really important. After a hard day in the garden, performing maintenance, studying, cooking, and engaging in whatever activism I can, it'd be soothing to the soul to settle down to a grass-fed steak covered in grass-fed butter, accompanied by homegrown mashed sweet potatoes and homemade raw milk cheese, and to go to bed reading a book I bartered for, before sleep alongside an aromatic pot of lavender. Economically I would be in poverty, but spiritually it could be high-living.

* * * * *

Like all great ideas, it's one I wish I had a long time ago, especially as I've spent so long picking my brain as to what I should do to protect myself from such a disaster. Man, I could have been working on this months ago! But now is as good a time as any other to get started, and as I've already mentioned in my weekly summary I'm doing research this week by visiting a Farmers Market. I'll be doing even more, such as by taking a tour of a dairy farm and interviewing farmers, and who knows what else? I got some homesteading books from the library, and will be renting those quite frequently. I have an immense amount to learn. As for capital ($$$), I'll certainly take to saving more from my current job, which is quite an opportune time given that I'm getting more hours and am actually going to move up the ladder soon. But let us not forget that it's highly probable, if not absolutely certain, that I'll be bringing other people into this, so that's more help to my endeavor and another source of capital. Maybe I could even find, or convince, people that think the same way in regards to economical outlook, and unite us together for this purpose. Oh, I've got so much research and planning to do.

My last project was called "Project" as a shorthand reference, but since this project doesn't need to be kept a secret I've been brainstorming titles and have decided on one: The Galt's Gulch Project. I didn't think of it this way at first, but after examining the details of my plan and why I'm acting this way I found that a more appropriate name can't be found. While I intend to be involved in society in some way -- I'll certainly still be in the United States that's for sure -- it's still a withdrawing and isolation in a way, for I'll be depending largely on myself and some select individuals for those basic goods and services to keep me alive and content. I'll also be growing in my abilities and intellect all in the meanwhile, and statists will not be benefiting from the use of my mind. Furthermore, this project is largely a response to the oncoming economic collapse, just like how Galt's Gulch in Atlas Shrugged was designed to protect producers from the collapse and dictatorship of America; I'll be shrugging you could say, though that's not really my intention. Again, the withdrawing from society and the likes were not points in mind when I conceptualized this project, but you can see how "Galt Gulch" is a serendipitous title, no? Hell, if I have the authority I might even call the farm that.

This is a very ambitious undertaking, one that may be a long-shot. There may not be enough time before the collapse for me to implement it, but the way I see it it's do or die, so instead of contemplating the difficulties and wondering awe-eyed at politics it's time to start garnering knowledge, jumping hurdles, networking, surmounting obstacles, and making progress. I've got to research, interview, talk to people and spread the news, gather capital, search for land, and more. Ultimately, I see that whether I abstain from this endeavor or fail at it, the consequence is the same: I suffer just like everyone else in America when things go down. However, if I succeed, then the reward is immense and priceless. The best of my judgment urges me forward on this.

I'm so ecstatic to have come up with this idea, for it's not only a great endeavor, it also adds purpose and integration to my life in even the barest short-term. Ever since completing the Project I've actually been slightly disappointed, for a pursuit of such magnitude was fulfilling and engaging, and gave me a central point to help me decide which goals to set and chase. Since its ending, I've felt rather aimless, not sure what to do with my time or how to tie everything together. I've been productively occupied for sure, but it doesn't all seem to add together: The weekly goals I set seem unintegrated and hodge-podge, and my daily routine feels too devoid of chance for achievement. Now this new endeavor gives me a focal point to drive my energy at and arrange a multitude of pursuits and learning around, bringing integration into my life that feels more harmonious and like my time is well spent.

Hungry, hard-working shruggers are, of course, welcome, but for the most part I only plan on this being for the benefit of a rather small group, for labor help, physical safety, and security. Nonetheless, the soul of an entrepreneur and leader has been fired within me, so I can't wait to get started.

I hope you can find happiness in a disaster protection plan as I'm striving for.Life is worth living, and it doesn't look like the government can deprive me of that enjoyment even now.

Another New Year's Resolution Down

I may not talk about them much, but I'm still tackling my 2011 new year's resolutions with good energy, just as when I formulated them way back in 2010. During my weekly review (not to be confused with my weekly summaries here) I always check my list of new year's resolutions, so they're never ever forgotten, explaining how I'm so well keeping on them. Recently I've had the pleasure of getting another one down: cooking and eating an entirely grass-fed steak. Well, for cost purposes I compromised with ground beef, but still it's pretty much the same thing given it's muscle meat -- steak -- ground up.

It was delicious. I just went with a simple salt and pepper setup in my patties, and was surprised at how different the meat was. Way more succulent and juicy than conventional grain-fed counterparts, and rather than having a savory meaty taste it was actually quite sweet, had a little tang to it, and was almost buttery. I liked it. I liked it a lot and yearn for more. Hopefully in the future I can get to affording a nice grass-fed pot roast or the likes. If you haven't tried grass-fed, then give it a shot!

I've already had free-range chicken. Though while it wasn't pasture-raised, it did have a very small amount of grain in its diet. However, I have yet to try anything in the realm of pasture pork. If I ever do make myself wealthy I'd like to make this the only meat I eat. Heck, given my culinary aspirations I'd like a giant meat cooler to stock to the brim. But patience and work are needed before that happens.

Also, as you might already know, another new year's resolution has been completed by my purchasing a digital camera to practice food photography with. I regret waiting so long now, as I'm impressed with what satisfying results I'm still able to obtain with my cheap equipment and frugal setup; I thought it'd be much more expensive. In truth, I probably could have gotten a camera near the beginning of this year, as I certainly had the savings set aside for it, but I misjudge the expenses, waited too long, and redirected my savings towards moving to Texas. Oh well: It's here now.

From here in my resolutions, I have yet to try sous vide cooking and one more kind of salt. For the former, I've been intrigued for a while with the concept of precision cooking, but never tried it. When the SousVide Supreme came out some Objectivist friends raved at how wonderful it is, so it's a culinary delight I'm missing out on. For the latter, I made the goal of trying three different kinds of salt and have so far tried two so far, though I don't want to name them right now since one was included in a chocolate bar I have yet to review.

The two goals I'm stumbling on, however, are reading 20 books and writing activism-oriented articles. The former has been difficult in completing since I've not only been having trouble getting to my books, I've also learned it's best to read some books just for isolated, valuable sections, which makes their reading not count towards my goal. However, I think I may have a new strategy: Skim through non-fiction books for valuable parts, for my education, and rely on entertainment books such as great literature to satisfy my cover-to-cover requirements. As for the activism, I'm not sure yet whether I'd say I've failed this goal, because I am being more diligent in posting political articles with my commentary on my social networking profiles and have hardly been keeping quiet about my views. In this case, I'm having trouble with my value hierarchy, as I just don't want to dedicate the amount of time it takes to continuously write long activist articles for newspapers and the like. So far I think I'm doing well.

It might be difficult to make that last push to get all my goals completed before the year is up, but I think most of them can be done. The only one I'm skeptical about is the sous vide cooking, as I don't think it'd be possible for me to arrange a setup given my current cook top access, though maybe I might be able to attend a demonstration or something. We'll see.

I'm proud of myself for sticking to my goals like this, and am already contemplating 2012 plans.

The War on Walnuts

Incredible. Apparently the FDA has recently threatened Diamond Foods for making health claims about its walnuts, calling them (medical) drugs and warning of seizure. I don't know what kind of response Diamond has taken, but this single case is sufficient to show just how much arbitrary power the government has. Here a company is in danger of being harmed all because its free speech doesn't conform to what the FDA considers acceptable, and a basic, found-in-nature food product is being treated as a dangerous pharmaceutical. 

Regardless of whether or not the FDA has objectively defined standards for operating, it has no right to do this. The government has no business dictating what we may and may not hear advertised by food companies, and what we may and may not purchase for our own "good." Given the arbitrary nature of this dictate, and how blatantly ridiculous it is, it shows, in principle, how nothing is truly safe in the food economy. Similar or like rulings could be made for cashews, macadamias, almonds, and so on, and can extend to other food sections such as dairy and meat. Raw milk, for instance, is virtually outlawed nationally, forcing producers to either sell them under licenses, as "pet food," or to even establish a black market.  Only ten states have raw milk legalized completely.

Little dictators at their finest.

Analyzing Recipes?

Remember how a short while ago I attempted to read cookbooks in order to foster my culinary education? If you also recall, I gave up because I found recipes to simply be too boring to read off one at a time, particularly since I don't have the resources to actually try them out as I'd like to. Well, I think I may have figured out a solution.

My "scribble book" has been helping out greatly with my reading, which is, again, the practice where I take rough notes during reading without intending to revisit them, just to nurture a more active mind. In my trials I've found that sometimes even just a couple sentences is sufficient to set off an iron concentration and train of thought that makes writing unnecessary, even distracting on its own. It sets the wheels of concentration in motion if you will. So now I've thought: Why not try that for cookbooks? Instead of just sitting down and reading books recipe by recipe, which sounds exciting as reading an encyclopedia straight through, why don't I make an effort to challenge myself by writing why I think certain steps are performed in such a fashion and not others, and how they can be improved? That turns a passive reading process into a mentally stimulating one, almost making me imagine myself as a scientist at a theoretical stove. Given my financial tightness abstract learning is just about all I can engage in at cheap expense, and with only one life to live I'd like to foster the greatest culinary knowledge possible.

I'm very intrigued with utilizing my scribble book in this realm, but am afraid it will have to wait nonetheless. I have The Chocolate Tree and The Science of Chocolate to get through first, and think that Culinary Artistry may be waiting for me at the library. Once the time comes I'll certainly set the appropriate goals and document my trial.

Weekly Summary # 40

A very good week. I managed to either complete or tackle all my goals, and have gotten a significant amount done, though have been considerably down due to financial concerns. I'm doing well to identify other goals for self-improvement and what else I'd like to achieve, so things have been fruitful introspectively as well. Correcting my sleep habits has also been a massive help, as I had no days where I felt too tired to do anything.

The list:

1.) Read The Chocolate Tree and The Objective Standard: I got through one chapter of the former and finished the latter to my satisfaction, all while using the "scribble-book" and "everything I know" method. I feel richer and more content. The chocolate history book is a rather mixed read, bouncing from being engaging and dry, but I think it's worthwhile to stick to til end.

2.) Practice tossing pizza with wash cloth, for three half-hour sessions: Done. I think I've just about mastered the simple toss and catch, but keep messing up the passing from hand to hand. I think on that last I'll just have to pick up a piece of dough and see how it differs from a thin cloth. I ought to keep practicing, but now I'd rather wait until I get some real dough in my hands so that the physics will be proper for real-life. A wet wash cloth can only simulate dough so far.

3.) Brainstorm list of traits for ideal self:. Started thinking about it, at least. In the end I think it might be silly to just sit and write a concrete-bound list of ideal traits. Instead -- as I've already have -- I should concentrate on adhering to ideal principles and allow those to be my guide to establishing ideal behaviors and practices as I come across situations and am forced to think.

4.) Research ways to play DVDs on computer: Tried and toyed around, and gave up again. I'm tired of this problem. I can get my programs to at least load the DVD up, but then the audio and video plays in a choppy fashion, and the amount of reading to do for potential solutions just makes me want to give up. Perhaps I'll revisit it later on, but the frustration itself has actually quelled any desire to want to play DVDs on my computer.

5.) Optimize computer and browser: Done to satisfaction. I found neat little tricks such as pipelining Firefox, making the start menu respond faster, and so on.

* * * * *

Aside from doing well to attack my goals, I've also found that taking a more serious approach to cooking has enlivened my practices again and made me more of the process, leading to me being more thoughtful and even discovering problems with past practices. As such, I feel more and more eager to enhance my study efforts, and this intriguing article on how intense concentration changes the brain steels my resolution even more. This week I'd like to continue working on making myself into a more serious and voracious reader, increasing both the amount of reading I do and the benefit I derive.

1.) Study menu from work: I feel foolish for having not done so before. If I am to be serious about my work, then I need a more intricate knowledge of what foods I participate in the creation of, even though I'm quite removed from the process (given I'm a dish washer).

2.) Perform at least five conceptual exercises per day: It's hard to link to any one post where I describe this process since it's been edited various times, so I'll summarize it as philosophical vocabulary exercises, where I take to not only learn a word, but to ground its meaning in reality, establish conceptual chains, and nurture certainty. I know I vowed to make it a permanent practice in the past before. The reason why I keep slipping is because it's such a darn nuisance to document words to perform exercises for, though the exercises themselves aren't annoying. If I found a faster way to hurry up and document words for later reference then it'd be an easier habit to maintain, but for now I guess I'll just have to be disciplined. This goal will especially help in understanding my restaurant's menu.

3.) Research/contemplate ways to constantly try new recipes, techniques, and meal plans: Part of my efforts to hone my cooking skills. I still need to find a good way to keep myself trying new recipes, techniques, and whatnot on a regular basis. I've already made small resolutions such as referencing my knife book each time I get my big knives out, but more thinking is needed.

4.) Read three chapters of The Chocolate Tree

5.) Research how to create RSS feed for chocolate reviews only: I've often wondered if there's a way to create an RSS feed solely for my chocolate reviews. I'm nowhere near satisfied with the views they get.

6.) Do Mental Calvinball during every working shift: It's time to bring back the counting game for dishes, I think. I've been sorely disappointed in my efforts at work lately. I keep up with strict consistency my use of a stopwatch, but I haven't used the counting method in several months. It's time to bring it back to see what benefits I can wring out of it.

* * * * *

I have to confess that as a blog author I've been feeling rather impotent lately. It seems that I've been putting out more and more mediocre pieces, though have no thoughts on how to improve my writing habits at the moment. And to tell the truth I'm not all that worried about it, as my concentration is where it matters: On pursuing my dreams.

Well, time to get back to it.

More Passion for Cooking

Recently I've had a rather disturbing revelation. I was just tossing around my cloth in the air, practicing my pizza throw as I said in my weekly summary, when suddenly I noticed the time and desired a break. This came as very disturbing to me. A break? After less than half an hour of practice? It then dawned on me that not enough of my life is dedicated to my career, at least not in time dedication. I haven't been reading enough, thinking about cooking enough, trying new things enough, tasting enough, and so on. For far too long I've been content leading one life at work, practicing my chocolate connoisseurship at home, and leaving my time for everything else up for grabs. If I have a passion for my field, then where's is it?

This has given me immense motivation to hurry and solve this problem, lest I perpetuate the deviation. If not fixed, then I am ultimately betraying myself, as after all my great aim in life is to realize my total and maximum potential. I can't do that if my greater concern is to settle down for the night with Sherlock Holmes on Hulu than I am with my culinary reading, can I? Geez, where has my head been?

For the most part, I really need to step it up with my culinary studies (i.e. reading) and take a more serious approach to my cooking. I didn't mention my restaurant job because I'm quite satisfied with the steady stream of self-improvement goals I keep thinking up there, leaving me never stagnant in my abilities, though I do have something study-wise in mind. There may be more areas, but it is these where I think the most essential changes need to be made.

For reading, it's simple: More time dedication, more effort! While I've been doing well to get back on track this week, I'm still far from restoring myself as a voracious reader as I was in my greater youth. For pete's sake I have in my ownership the great Cookwise and haven't even finished it, and have taken no where near full advantage of my copies of Good Eats: The Early Years and Good Eats 2: The Middle Years. And yet, I pine for more selections from the library? In addition to working my way through more chocolate books, I've got to give more attention to my own bookshelf once and a while.

I'm not sure what exactly to do about my cooking endeavors beyond a few vague specifics in mind. You might remember that I've had severe recipe frustrations in the past, not knowing of any good system for storing them or cycling them for my reference. Beyond that my finances are incredibly tight, as I'm living paycheck to paycheck at the present, so saying I have a tight budget isn't justice enough. Searching out a new ingredient or food each week might be worthwhile, but it's still hard to say how much my budget will allow of that. Plus, I rent a room, so my access to cooking utensils is somewhat restrained by the limited space, my selection, permissions, and my unfamiliarity with certain things. At the very least I could be doing much better to be more thoughtful in my cooking by actually thinking about what I'm doing rather than just focusing on sustenance. Furthermore, I could be doing better to cycle the ingredients that I know are well within my budget rather than depending on routine. There are some other limitations to my efforts, but I'd rather not mention them right now. More thinking needs to be done in this specific realm.

So concretely for now my determination is to up my efforts in my culinary reading and studying, and to be more intelligent in my cooking endeavors, such as my reading my knife book to see if there's a new cut I could practice on an ingredient. For work my study idea is to study the menu so that I have a more intricate knowledge of the culinary profile of my own employing restaurant, which is something I've been stupidly neglecting and forgetting.

I'm glad I've had this revelation. It may have been disturbing, but it was a needed kick in the pants. I feel my passion growing for my work once more. Hopefully now I can keep myself on track this time without unthinkingly wondering off.

Cartoon Food Cravings?

A weird question that popped into my head recently after assessing some memories. You know how food advertising and photography can often invoke cravings and desires for certain foods? Well, the strange thing with me is these things not only have a null effect on me, I also seem to be more responsive to artistic (e.g. paintings, drawings) and animated portrayals of food, and I don't understand why.

For instance, one time I was playing a video game where in order to collect a certain item you had to bring an orange to a chimpanzee, and when you collect that orange it speaks to you. Instead of a voice over, however, the orange's "voice" consisted of wet squishing noises, a noise an orange would make. This drove my cravings mad, and I found myself on an orange kick for a while then on.

Just about any food item applies to this realm, from sweets to vegetables to meat. This is very odd to me: How can my cravings be stimulated by something I saw in a video game or cartoon, but largely be unaffected by food photography and advertising?

Weekly Summary #37

A relatively good week, though plenty mixed. I've been quite involved in action and with worry about the financial difficulty I've encountered, which has subsumed a large part of my thinking and chores this week, but still I managed to get a pleasant amount done, especially helped by my new way of managing to-do lists. The worst I can say is that I'm being agonized by leg cramps again, the kind that yank you out of sleep to stand up to undo them, so I hope this phase passes before I eat my legs.

The list:

1.) Research ReCAPTCHA: I did, but it took way too long and is above my understanding. Given how simple a function I want it to perform I don't think it was worth the time to scrutinize it, so I've taken the popular shortcut in posting my e-mail by typing it as Benpercent1 (at) gmail (dot) com at the top of my page. If you need to contact me privately about anything now you can, but please be unique; if it's about a blog post, then consider a comment instead.

2.) Read to page 100 in The Science of Chocolate: Failed, but I tried. I need a new reading strategy for this text. It's valuable, but has a confused perspective as to who its audience is, as some portions are written for knowledged chemists while others are accessible to the layman. I'll just need to push harder to make it to the end.

3.) Finish my spring 2011 spring edition of The Objective Standard: Shamefully, no.

4.) Read chocolate history book: Yes. About a chapter and a half in. Oh, and it's called The Chocolate Tree. Kind of dry, but very interesting. From this I've decided I'd be very interested in a botanical text about the cacao tree.

5.) Look up how to create banner graphics: Oh, a brief bit of fiddling and I gave up. It's intimidating given what little visual skill I have, but I have an idea for a design I might like, so maybe I should just go forth and play around with something in Paint or the likes.

* * * * *

As the days pass, I continue to grow more and more hopeful for the future, and have been experiencing a flaring up of my ambition towards my pursuits. It's a little fuzzy as to where I where I want to go ultimately, but the goals before me are immediately within my sight and aim. I've been working hard to improve myself at my job and keep myself roundly productive at home, and I've finally reached a satisfying balance in my blogging habits where I'm able to keep on top of things and yet not feel like I'm dedicating too much time to it.

There are some barriers to my improvement, but I think I'll be able to remedy them quickly. For one, while I've constructed a list to enhance my productivity at work I've been unable to afford a page protector to keep it from being destroyed, so I've been without it. Additionally, I've grown very proud of and confident in my ability to write good chocolate reviews, but being unable to afford a camera to post photos of the products continues to be a barrier. I anticipate being able to financially resolve these conundrums within the next two weeks, and I'm especially excited for the latter.

For this week I'd like to rush in and spruce up my blog a bit with a new banner and see if I can enhance my reading ability and concentration, the latter of which I intend to muse about in greater detail early next week.

1.) Try hand at creating banner: I have an utterly simple but fitting idea for a banner which I may be able to pull off with my limited skills, so instead of worrying about researching graphic techniques week after week I think I should just open up a program and experiment.

2.) Read The Science of Chocolate, The Chocolate Tree, Crash Proof, and spring issue of The Objective Standard: Reading continues to be a difficulty with me. On one hand I feel I read too little, but then on the other I tend to assign so much it leaves little time for digestion. Either new habits or strategies are needed, but I do have an idea for a strategy I call a scribble book. This week I'm mainly going to read as much as a I can without minimum requirements.

3.) Experiment with "scribble" book for reading: In short, this would be the practice of taking rough notes on whatever reading I do; not with the intention of going back for review, but rather for enhancing attention and concentration. Think of it as being similar to my old practice of writing repeatedly unfamiliar words I have trouble with, such as medical terms and foreign names. Again, I'll write more next week on why I'm doing this and for what problem.

4.) Practice tossing pizza with clothes at home: I know it ain't Paleo, but I work at a pizza restaurant which should sooner or later call upon me to take part in the baking. It isn't necessary to toss a pizza in the air, but it's a very practical and efficient skill to learn and master. (No, tossing pizza isn't for aesthetics. The centrifugal force applied to it while spinning in the air helps increase its size in a more symmetric circular shape. It's probably quicker than stretching by hand too.) My intention right now is to find some clothing of the sort, like a wash cloth or shirt, and practice tossing it around. First I have to find something that will act like moist pizza dough, however, so failing that this goal is sunk.

5.) Tidy up room: Self-explanatory. This place is a mess. I need to have designated spots for certain items.

That's all for now. Here's to working hard and earning a good future.

Writings for Modern Paleo

I have advertised it before, but I guess I should add greater emphasis to the fact that I also contribute to another blog, Modern Paleo. Most of my contributions are cross-posted articles like my chocolate reviews, but on occasion I have written articles for them exclusively, and I think I didn't do a good job raising awareness on that part. Omitting cross-posted pieces, here's some MP exclusives:

Paleo and Rewriting Reality: People have taken before to recognizing what good health effects my lifestyle has achieved, but on more than one occasion I have had it where their estimates will change completely once they learn my means. One person even deceptively put me off as a vegetarian even though I eat far more meat than vegetables.

Being Paleo During an Economic Disaster: It's never a nice subject to think about, but now is the time to get one's food and health life in order before things get bad, otherwise you might be up the creek without a paddle.

I'll continue writing more exclusive articles here and there in the future, and will be better in making note of it here.

Heart Attack Grill

Interesting! I've heard from Yahoo! News that Heart Attack Grill is going to open up a location in Dallas, my county. I'm interested in going, admittedly. Yes, it's still unhealthy when considering the whole nutritional context, but from the Paleo perspective it'd still be a more palatable dietary cheat than most given the emphasis on fat, not sugar, though this is an oversimplification given the different kinds of fats. Still, I think even partially hydrogenated lard is better than canola or soybean oil as frying grease. Regardless, I'm pretty strict with my Paleo nutritional regiment and other acceptable foods (e.g. butter) and cheat almost solely with chocolate, so I think I'll definitely visit this place at some point in the future. I can't even remember the last time I had a piece of bread, so I think it'd be okay to have a breaded burger after this long.

Though, I am bothered by the prospect of protests against this restaurant. Yes, I support free speech and all, but still am annoyed that such people are concerned with the restaurant in such a fashion, and while rights are being respected, I think it's a display of nanny-like behavior to object in such a way. These people may be voicing their judgment of the health matters at stake, but why can't they just explain their views and rest easy that it's an entirely voluntary institution?

I see people eat terrible foods almost everyday. Alcohol, wheat, prepackaged meals, low-fat selections . . . and none of it bothers me. I nutritionally object to such foods and abstain from them, but it doesn't irk me at all to see other people eat that way, except for maybe children. I'll explain the reasoning behind my dietary choices and feel fine at respectful disagreements, and won't be bothered by a person's continued dietary destruction. I'm an adult, and these people are adults: They're old enough to make their own choices without being nagged at, and I respect that enough that it doesn't bother me to see someone make bad choices so long as it isn't infringing on me. I might offer my input to the person on what I perceive to be a better course, but largely I live my own life and let other people live theirs. Even if, in a Paleo diet dominated world, someone defiantly opened up a sugary bakery called "The Insulin Spike Cafe" I wouldn't be bothered: Make your own decisions, for the consequences are yours alone.

This protest is evidence that there still exists a mentality where people just can't leave alone certain lifestyle choices they find disagreeable, even though it doesn't infringe on their rights and isn't destructive culturally (e.g. spreading evil ideas). They see someone making a choice they perceive as bad and HAVE to say something about it, even if it amounts to nagging in the end. This is not only annoying, but also ineffective and impotent as a method of changing people's minds and the culture at large. People with signs and slogans don't change the world; civil arguments and well-constructed thoughts do. (And by "civil" I'm being very broad here, focusing on mannerisms. An argument can be vicious and evasive, but in a certain way I could still consider it civil. A book, for instance, doesn't have the ability to conduct violence, raise its voice, or slam its fists on the table.)

So while, yes, the people eating at this restaurant may be making a destructive choice by drinking the sugary shakes or eating the wheat burger buns, I think society should allow them to make that choice without sneering or thumbing their nose. These are people with the capability of thinking for themselves: Let them employ that capacity.  I'm entirely polite and civil when witnessing someone eat pasta, and expect the same when I eat my food.

Then again, a cultural change is needed before people can tend to themselves like this. We live in an age where people believe it is their duty to promote the common good of their fellow man as a matter of moral obligation, which at the rights respecting level can result in a constant urge on someone's part to keep pestering someone on how "wrong" they're acting. I've had people obsess over my dietary choices before. It didn't make me change my choices; it made me lose respect for that person and avoid them so I could make my dietary decisions without irritation.

To close with Eric Hoffer: "A man is likely to mind his own business when it is worth minding. When it is not, he takes his mind off his own meaningless affairs by minding other people's business."

A Waste Indeed

Dom of Chocablog has noted that the chocolate manufacturer Magnum has used over ten tons of chocolate in constructing a hotel room scene as a publicity stunt, which I agree to be an astonishingly huge waste of chocolate (and food in general). While I grant that companies have the moral right to utilize their property as they see fit, even if others perceive it as wasteful. I can't help but be taken back by how frivolous this is.

I consider myself a huge proponent of the "waste not want not" mode of thinking when it comes to food. It's very rare that I waste any food of any sort, which is why I take to eating offal and even the bones of cooked meats. I even managed to eat an entire chicken carcass before, not leaving a single bone shard behind. There's no sense in wasting food; it's equivalent to wasting money and also forgoing opportunities for good nourishment. Using chocolate in this fashion offends me on these grounds. Sure, humans are capable of producing more, but is this really a respectful way to treat the fruits of someone's labor?

I hope Magnum at least disposes of the chocolate by giving it to people to eat, whether it be distributing it amongst its own employees or breaking off pieces for onlookers. Just don't throw it away.

Why Do You Love to Learn?

A question directed to the nerds amongst us here.

It goes without saying that I highly value knowledge. Intellectual reading is a constant in my lifestyle, and I've even gone so far as to initiate my own study routine even though I'm in no school institution. (I'm also preparing to take it on again.) It takes knowledge to be able to deal with life and existence successfully, and it is knowledge that I do not neglect.

I'm wondering, however, if it could be possible for people to have different motivations for a love of learning than the one I've identified. If you love to learn, then I ask: Why? Why do you value it and what impact does it have on you?

For me, it's about mastering reality. The only way to have successful actions and pursuits is to have the necessary knowledge and thinking skills to complete such feats. You can't just learn a static amount or depend on what other people say; you've got to be mentally active your entire life to be able to deal with a changing world. People who don't will find themselves unhappy and impotent.

My enjoyment comes from the use of my learning, in which my knowledge physically demonstrates itself. It can be anything, whether it be an emotional change from successful introspection, a good meal cooked with new methods, a solution to a business problem, and more. The more achievement I earn, the more I see before me how important knowledge is and how it drives my life upwards. The very reason why I love to cook is epistemological: It represents the full process of knowledge: the learning of scientific theory, the physical challenge of its application, and the sensuously pleasurable results. It shows the entire cycle of how knowledge works in reality.

Some people, I know, love learning as its own end and aren't concerned solely with practical applications, and I admit I don't quite understand that. It also makes me wonder if there could be other reasons and motives, and I'm interested in hearing them.

So what roles do learning and knowledge play in your life?

Restaurant Review: Master Grill

As soon as I heard about the concept I knew that Master Grill was going to be the first restaurant I would visit after my move to Texas. I've never heard of the Brazilian steakhouse concept before this, and upon hearing of it I had to try it since it's the most Paleo-friendly restaurant I know of.

The setup is that after being seated you get this little plastic token that has a green and red side that indicates whether you're open to a goucho (meat server) coming to your table and offering a selection of meat, to be carved off right onto a serving plate. It's all you can eat, and additionally there's unlimited access to an extensive salad bar that has meats, darkened and chilled vegetables, cheeses, and more. Check their menu here.

The decor is quite cozy and relaxing, with the atmosphere controlled to let only so much sunlight in, leaving the rest to golden light fixtures. I was seated towards the front by the greeter, and in hindsight I slightly regret that decision since it looked so much more soothing in the back. It's not gorgeous inside or anything, but everything is put together to be worth deeming professionally acceptable.

I planned way in advance to come in quite hungry to take nearly unfair advantage of their buffet, as I fasted for over 24 hours and did some weight lifting two hours prior, and was not disappointed. My token was on the green side virtually the whole time I was there, and in between meat servings I raided the salad bar of its many items and things unknown to me, hurrying to make sure I made it back to my table before the gouchos went back into their dwelling.

While there being only be a single table of salad bar items may seem small, the variety is very satisfying. The spread includes floral and citrusy roasted bell peppers, silky raw salmon with sour capers, mild and salty cheeses, spiced and peppery potato cubes, shrimp with paper-thin shells, smoky salami, and more. From the Paleo perspective what pleased me the most is that the majority of the buffet is subsumed under my nutritional guidelines, with very little straying from it. I gorged myself on a much as I could, but soon I lost my adventurousness in favor getting extra helpings of asparagus, roasted peppers, and that delightful salmon. I usually prefer all my vegetables hot, but they were a good temperature and texture contrast. The cheeses were the low point, as most of them are very mild, the strongest one hardly registering as salty, and were drowned out with the other flavor pairings. I couldn't taste the mozzarella at all.

The star of the show, of course, is the meat. It was always to my pleasure to see the goucho approaching me, bringing a surprise on a skewer, and the green token ensured constant visits. They didn't give entire cuts -- say, a whole chicken breast -- but the portions were doled out at the perfect tasting size, allowing me to have room for every single meat they had. My first offering was the bacon wrapped chicken breast, which was chicken done right. It was juicy, salty, porky, grassy, and slightly sweet all at once, no flavors interfering with each other. From here I don't remember the exact order of my dining, but I believe I was given the Parmesan pork next. It's too bad they don't offer that cheese in the salad bar, for it's my favorite: Sharp, tangy, highly salty. The covered pork underneath is mild and succulent once gotten to. The leg of lamb soon followed, a new meat to me, and has an decent marbling and equal, mild parts gamey and sweet taste. A good introduction. The top sirloin has a great spicy and burnt crust, strongly similar to the wonders of outdoor barbecues, with a unsullied and beefy interior. The pork sausage was sweet and tangy. The finish of my tasting array came with what I believe I heard to be hotel steak, which was smack dab medium-rare and had the strongest of all the fatty flavors. A good healthy greed made me ask for extra helpings of the chicken and lamb. (My second regret: Not getting more of that Parmesan pork.)

Not all was great, however. Flank steak was another new cut I was pleasured to try, but it was an overdone-gray and overcooked bland. Garlic is one of my favorite things to pair with beef, but their garlic beef has too much an overwhelming burnt and smokey taste, the garlic probably destroyed by the heat. My biggest disappointment was the filet migon wrapped in bacon, which came off more as a firm sausage saturated with bacon flavor.

Due to my nice workout I thought to have some dessert, choosing the chocolate cheesecake sitting atop a grid of caramel and mango sauce. Delectable. The cocoa mingles with the slightly funky cream cheese wonderfully, and I was determined to wipe off just about every drop of that sharp mango sauce underneath, though the caramel is overridden.

I ate until I was bloated, but it was worth it to have eaten more than I paid for. I walked out satisfied with my choice and am already getting hungry thinking about my next visit there, whenever that will be. At worst the servers could work to make themselves more visible, as several times throughout the evening I lost track of my waitress and sat parched for water for several minutes. Nonetheless everyone showed good concern for my experience, and did well to remember my requests even as they took a long time to process, especially that one goucho who cooked a leg of lamb at my sole asking. However, I felt like I was slighted come dessert, as I didn't know they charged extra for it and saw no pricing guide beyond the buffet cost; it's not even on their website. That's unfair.

The execution isn't mind-blowing, but it's the best buffet I've ever been to and am gung-oh to recommend. If you want to minimalize the expense like I have, you'll do best to weight train and deprive your stomach like I did, to make possible a great gorging on the feast they have.

Restaurant Reviews

I've finally gotten myself back into work, which now means I can move onto some other goals and pursuits, namely my culinary education. While I'll certainly be more detailed on my spectrum of goals sometime in the future, for now I'm concerned with detailing the development of my palate. For that, I need to eat.

I need to do more extensive thinking as to how I should handle my finances, but at this moment I am thinking that I ought to strive to go to a fine dining restaurant at least once a month for educational purposes (and gastronomical pleasure). It might be monetarily demanding, but a necessary part of my self-development that becomes painlessly integrated into my life's purpose. For the value I'm getting in knowledge and experience it's quite a cheap price to pay, as no one should hesitate to trade one value for a higher one.

To broaden my writing skills in conjunction I'm thinking about writing restaurants reviews, which will not only strengthen my writing but also train my culinary and restaurant thinking, so expect to see them here at least once a month. I cannot promise you a consistent schedule, as I need to coordinate my dining with my work schedule since I'm always going to want to attend dinner service. That means sometimes I might dine on Sunday and have the review on Monday, and other times I might dine on Tuesday and put the review out on Thursday. No consistency.

Ratings wise, I'm not so sure what to do. Given my lack of sophistication I wouldn't dare do something such as a five-star system, but I don't want to be as simple as my chocolate reviews where I either recommend it or I don't. More thinking must be done.

Given my limited range I may not be speaking much to people who have access to these restaurants, but hopefully my readers can find value in thinking about what food concepts they're interested in and seek them in their own areas.

Why I Love to Cook

An introspective piece. Recently I think I may have identified why at root I enjoy cooking so much that I want to dedicate my life to it. Up until now the depth of my understanding was only able to acknowledge that I strongly value cooking, not why I do so. On thinking about my value of studying for my own personal benefit I think a deeper answer has been reached.

While cooking has interested me at some level all my life, it wasn't until a few triggers came late into my teenage years that the value truly flourished and came to light. When I was really young I thoroughly enjoyed thumbing through cookbooks as a hobby and daydreaming about making or trying all the wonderful things I found, but given my situation it just remained daydreaming. Most of my elders were extremely paranoid about the prospect of letting me cook for myself, so my enjoyment in the process was severely undermined by the fact I wasn't allowed to cook on my own terms, and some of my dishes were even ruined by my elders. Eventually my childhood interest just suffocated and I moved on, but I was still interested at points here and there.

I was always interested in cooking in a certain fashion, however. I never read a food magazine, and typical cooking shows were nearly intolerable. Simply making stuff taste good is not at all what interests me. Besides, I was still on the Standard American Diet back then, and I often ate to the point of feeling sick (since it took a lot of carb-laden food to satisfy my appetite) and wasn't enthused by the flavor of what I ate, so I didn't even value eating back then. I even literally wished I could go without eating forever, because it didn't taste that great and made me feel terrible, especially with my near-constant illnesses.

The first trigger came about by way of Alton Brown's television show Good Eats, which is absolutely the first and only cooking show I've enjoyed watching. His show is different. He doesn't just take a bunch of ingredients and show how to make isolated dishes, he also tries to teach the causation behind food, why they act the way they do when you treat them in certain ways. It held my interest so intensely that I found I even enjoyed watching the same episodes repeatedly, which is strange in my television-viewing habits since I'll usually refuse to see something ever again after having seen it once. I probably watched the episode on chili at least three or four times, and wouldn't mind seeing it again. I became a very strong fan of the series; quickly it boosted my motivation to begin cooking again, starting with some of the recipes from the show. Still, however, this was not enough, as cooking at this point only seemed like some side-interest that ranked below that of a hobby.

The second trigger came through my transitioning to the Paleo diet. When Diana Hsieh recommended Good Calories, Bad Calories on her blog my nutritional views drastically altered and I began dropping sugar and grains in favor of fat and protein. Oddly enough I didn't expect any health benefits -- I thought I was already eating healthy and that Paleo would only increase my lifespan and disease resistance -- but soon my body changed rapidly. I dropped about thirty pounds and became lean as a rail, my acne disappeared, food tasted much better and didn't make me ill, my mood stopped swinging with my blood-sugar, and more. Most of all, I began thinking about food more and more. I spent several months clueless as to what to allow myself to eat -- sticking almost fiercely to eggs, bacon, spinach, and almond flour -- but eventually I became very curious about different foods, moving myself to try new things such as jicama, Dubliner cheese, raw milk, beef heart, Brazil nuts, dark chocolate, and other things that have never graced my palate before. Through my trials my food values and taste memory expanded, and I thought more and more about food.

This came at a time when I didn't know what to do with my life. The majority of my life prior I had wanted to be a professional writer, as I thoroughly enjoyed the craft and regularly blogged (this was back in Myspace days). I recognized that I didn't want to professionally write once I realized that writing rarely entered my thoughts and that I didn't enjoy it as strongly as I was making myself believe. Once I realized what a dominant role food was taking in my life, I recognized that I wanted to be in the culinary arts for my living, thus bringing to full light the interest that's always been within me implicitly.

However, even after that period I still didn't know what I wanted to do with my life concretely. Just become a chef? A chef and restaurant owner? A food corporate leader? For a few years after my identification I was still unsure as to the precise direction I wanted to go, only that I wanted to be in food and needed to start getting into restaurants. So began my restaurant career, where I started as a dish washer and achieved my best job to date, one that was always a constant source of enjoyment.

Recent discoveries and further introspection have further specified my purposes. When I look back, I see now that I was always a kid who valued knowledge. I guess broadly kids either tend to like robots or dinosaurs as they're growing up, and I'd definitely consider myself in the robot category. I loved Mega Man, and was always memorized by the appearance of an invention or robot on television or in a movie (though not those giant ones, and I don't know why). In my earliest years I wanted to develop video games, and while I may have never learned a programming language I do think I implicitly valued it for the technology and intellect involved.

It wasn't until I discovered Ayn Rand that I developed an explicit love for the pursuit of knowledge and more strongly valued intelligence. Anthony Burgess had me quite primed given the philosophical elements of his writings, but it wasn't until Rand that my deepest premises came out. I rapidly changed in this period, contemplating philosophy all the time and more often renting books of an intellectual nature. Years later I came to value knowledge so much that I even began studying on my own time, in school or not.

The key to why I like cooking lies in my refined views about practical epistemology (the field of philosophy that studies the nature of knowledge). Lately I've been thinking about why I've been having so much trouble with my studies in the past in regards to not being able to concentrate on certain subject, and I realized that I was taking a duty-bound approach, only studying some subjects (such as grammar) only because I felt I had to, not that I was interested. As such, I was forcing myself to do something that I wasn't deep down interested in, causing me to have much difficulty in concentrating and remembering the material. What truly interests me are subjects relevant to my life . . . relevant to my actual physical pursuits.

In other words, the knowledge I value most is that which helps me master reality more effectively, that helps me master nature in my own realm.

I recognize that there is incalculable value in theoretical knowledge, science in particular, but what I value is applied knowledge (and applied science in particular). I can't just sit around learning all day, making identifications and integrations, without putting it to use in some way; in fact, my intellectual make-up probably wouldn't allow me to learn effectively in such a fashion. I've got to learn and take it out into the world somehow. This is why I liked robots and quirky inventions while growing up: It showed knowledge put to use, the ultimate representation of the results of an active mind.

Tying it back to cooking, this is where Alton Brown comes in: His form of scientific cooking is yet another example of what results when knowledge is applied to reality. I value this particular manifestation not only because of the enjoyable theoretical knowledge behind the cooking processes and the fun physical challenge of constructing a good meal, but also in the physical pleasure it results in at the end of the endeavor: Great tasting food. To me, this is knowledge in its complete cycle: Theoretical knowledge > active cooking as applied science > physically pleasurable end result. You have the learning, application, and reward all in the same field. I love that. Alton Brown's show memorizes me because of the fully applied, beginning to end, epistemology that's present, the science, application, and tasty meal.

My future has become clearer, and it is in gastronomy. I know now what I need to do in order to mentally equip myself for my endeavors, and have began taking the steps. I see myself as retaining all the elements of a businessman, chef, and inventor, as I could never be content just doing some experiments in a lab. Homaro Cantu is my chef of interest at the moment, as he right now represents the epitome of where I'd like to end up.

This is why I love cooking. It's my favorite form of bringing knowledge into physical existence.

Baked "Fried" Chicken

Here's a strange recipe I tried recently: Baked "fried" chicken. I've been wanting some fried chicken lately, but since I rent a room I only have so much refrigerator and pantry space, so there's not enough room for a tub of lard for frying grease. I remembered reading a recipe titled the same way as this post, only I didn't read the recipe, so I just made up the steps as I went along.

Essentially, you just make fried chicken as you ordinarily would, what with the flour and seasonings (coconut flour is my choice), only you put the chicken in the oven instead of a hot pan of grease. I baked mine for approximately 45 minutes atop a cooling rack perched on a baking sheet.

It came out near perfect, though not quite. The meat was perfectly cooked and the flour retained its delicate sweetness, but some of the pieces still had that "powdery" look to them as if the flour hadn't cooked at all. I was depending on the chicken fat to moisturize the flour and cause the Maillard reaction, but the results were overall mixed. Some pieces came out golden and gorgeous; others looked as if they were just freshly floured. Thankfully this only seems to be an aesthetic problem, as when I ate some of the powdery pieces they didn't come off as dry, dusty, or gritty in the least, so I just need to find a way to make this recipe look better. At first glance, I think that next time I'll flip all the pieces over and rotate the pan halfway throughout the cooking, and perhaps it might be beneficial to actually take the chicken out and take a spray bottle of fat to the surface (don't do it while it's in the oven, otherwise the fat could ignite).

Flavor-wise it's not much different than actually fried chicken, but I'm attracted to this method due to it lesser prep and cleanup (no grease), and reduction in expense since no lard needs to be bought. You get the same pleasure with a lesser hassle, though an increased cooking time. Unless I can identify actual benefits or differences that comes with pan frying other than cooking time I think I just may do "fried" chicken this way from now on.

Weekly Summary #23

Gah. It's time for another weekly summary? Almost an inconvenience given my busy week of job hunting. I've been writing and fooling around with cover letters so much that I still feel resistance to blogging due to finite writing energy, so it won't be until I get a job that my writing practices will return to normalcy. I did have an interview, so I have yet to see how that goes. Anyhow, with my limited patience I'd rather tackle the list before going into deeper details about my week:

1.) Put new license plates on car: Finished, but it was quite troublesome. My car doesn't have an indentation on the front to put a license plate, and yet Texas law requires it. It was a laborious adventure trying to find what I needed and who would do it, but things concluded in success by my having a local mechanic attach my plates for free.

2.) Apply to at least two places per day, external circumstances not interfering: Yes. If memory serves correctly, I've either met or surpassed this goal almost every day this week, excluding Thursday and Friday (today). I should have kept tally. Anyhow, on Thursday the interview took up all my time, and Friday I'm just going to dedicate to callbacks given that there's limited opportune times to speak of a career at any particular place, and active hunting would cut into that phone time.

3.) Consider and research moving my money to Texas: Didn't do it. Honestly, I'd rather worry about getting a source of income first before dealing with the problem of where to store it, so I think I'll set this goal down until that other hurdle is jumped.

4.) Identify a way to turn my Big 8 workouts into two Big 4's: Didn't do. Virtually immaterial as well, as I won't shell for a gym membership quite yet. To explain this goal a little further, one of the essentials of the workout routine described in the book Body by Science is that one should work each muscle group only once ideally, so while at the gym I've been trying to figure out how to accomplish this in a proper amount of exercises. Doing bicep curls, for instance, before doing a seated row will harm one's performance in the latter exercise because the biceps were weakened in the prior exercise, and that weakness will be detrimental to exercising the back muscles, so exercise redundancy must be avoided. To give my muscles two weeks to heal I've been thinking about cutting up eight exercises into four exercises each week, but I haven't gotten around to contemplating how to optimize that. Perhaps an intuitive approach might be best during the actual workout, as I'll be able to rely on the feeling of my muscles and know when I did something wrong.

5.) Meditate for a half-hour each day with eyes open: I might have skipped a day, but otherwise stayed constant with it. It won't be until this upcoming week that I'll truly learn the value of the practice, however. An ongoing problem was numbness in my right leg being apparent in the last ten or so minutes of my sitting, and that numbness would become so bothersome that it broke and prevented any trance from then on. Luckily, I have remedied the problem by both taking the stuff out of my back pockets and utilizing two pillows to increase blood flow. I won't make it an official goal from here, but I'll set meditation on my routine next actions list in order to see it's longer-term effects, especially now that I can establish a longer trance more easily.

At first glance, it seems rather exhausting. Being extrospective for that long really strains the front of my brain, and I've yet to get used to it. We'll see. Right now I've noticed its greatest benefit is the improvement of my concentration.

6.) Watch two Alfred Hitchcock movies, Rear Window and Psycho: I tried to, but my computer wouldn't let me. Ever since I moved to Texas my computer has been acting glitchy. Whenever I put a movie in I ran into various problems. When using the Media Center program (I use Windows XP Media Center edition) my CPU would be taken up to the point that my computer would work at max capacity and make the audio choppy. Other programs, such as Quicktime and VLC player, refused to view the DVD as an integrated file, instead breaking it down into unplayable parts. Consequently I've just been unable to work on this goal. I didn't bring my television with me in the move, so my DVD player is temporarily useless.

Would any readers have a suggestion for a solution?

7.) Write a special article on an identification I made about anger: I've thought about it, but after posting this goal I've become very conflicted. Surprisingly, for once I'm feeling very reserved and private about this kind of thinking, so now I'm not sure whether I'll actually write the article or if I'll just publish it for a special audience. It is an issue of concern that would be beneficial to write about, but I don't know how yet or whether I'll have the motivation during this period of employment-based writing. More thinking must be done.

* * * * *

Overall, I've kept myself very busy in my job hunt as per my rational obligation to myself, but considering matters in whole I think I ought to be ashamed of myself. I've been very lazy in keeping on top of my lists, oftentimes going to bed without completing my daily goals or engaging in undeserved recreation. And, oh!, I've been especially terrible in keeping track of my perfectionism goals. If I haven't been keeping tally at all, then I've been flip-flopping on my methods. On some days I'll keep a total tally of all my perfectionism violations, and then on others I'll only add a single tally after having assessed the day in total. This latter method is dishonest, for it wipes out the emotional impact of my actions by making them seem small since they're represented by a single paper-thin slash mark. I need to be more consistent, and more so I need a new method.

After all this I would still consider myself back on track -- I'm being productive still after all -- only the problem is that I'm not totally driving on the rails as I should be. More effort must be made to regain my composure, and I think I'll dedicate this week to that. I mustn't be wasting my precious time like this given the new chance my move to Texas has given me. As such, here are my goals:

1.) Write an article on my connection to cooking: Recently I've identified why I value the culinary field so much, and making such an identification explicit ought to be helpful in determining my future goals.

2.) Read all of Green & Black's articles

3.) See if there's a way to drive down CPU usage on my computer: So I can watch those darned DVDs. I think I may likely need to do a virus scan in safe mode to clear matters up, though I'm dreading that measure since doing a scan in that mode can take ten or more hours.

4.) Be STRICT in completing my goals. Do not eat chocolate or watch Hulu if not all goals are completed: I've always been skeptical about taking the self-reward approach to self-improvement, but I guess I ought to try it before I knock it. To give myself extra motivation, I won't allow myself to enjoy certain values if I haven't completed my goals. Completing my daily goals will mean I'll allow myself to watch programs on Hulu as much as I want, but not before. Also, I'll allow myself to have three helpings of chocolate this week, but I must earn two by keeping my daily goals the day before. (The first helping will be the routine tasting for review.) Finally, I'll only allow myself on Facebook for twenty minutes after 5 PM before completing my daily goals and won't allow myself back on until those goals are completed. I know I've made this goal before, but I've eased up on it and should get back to this restriction.

I don't know how well this will work, but it appears beneficial. The reason why I'm skeptical is because the rewards are doled out at my arbitration, which means I could give myself the reward even if I haven't completed my goals (the chocolate isn't locked up, after all), but then again perhaps I should trust myself better.

5.) Write in my journal at least 3 times: Since moving I've really been off my special introspection techniques. The ease of hearing someone talk through the walls where I live prevents me from rubberducking with my Bowser statue, and I also haven't been doing the rubberducking in the car since I've been both forgetting to bring the statue and need to listen to my GPS anyways. My writing energy being eaten up has been keeping me away from my introspection journal, but I think that ought to change. I've been under stress lately, and to go without those beneficial introspection methods is to prolong the stress nonsensically. As such, I want to aim to write in my introspection journal at least three times this week.

6.) Clean out the useless papers in my car

7.) Look for the nearby Farmers Market: I'm surprised I've actually forgotten to do this since moving. I've been so focused on checking out all the grocery stores that I've neglected this prime culinary destination.

8.) De-frag computer: Another thing I think may speed up my computer, but am also dreading. It takes so long, and putting my computer in this mode keeps me from being able to access my to-do lists. Oh well, I'll just need to time it right so I don't need the computer during those times.

Outside of these goals, I'd also like to instigate the new practice of putting a thick horizontal line to mark my violations in my perfectionism categories. My new thought is that virtue is absolute, so it's silly to count my violations one by one since a single violation is a sufficient vice to be worried about on its own. So instead of counting my violations I'll assess my day as a whole or mark the violation as soon as I see it, and the horizontal line, what with its thickness and all, should be more emotionally intimidating and pressing to the conscious if I should be falling from grace. Nothing like a good guilt trip to keep one on track, right?

Most of all, I hope my employment situation changes soon, though I'll be actively engaged in changing it, of course. I continue to pine for the restaurant kitchen. It's pretty much what I daydream about right as I wake up and cook breakfast. I'd like to set my mind forth once again on solving the problem of maximizing my ability and skill, and to restart my serious studies, this time almost entirely concentrated on my culinary areas. Soon enough.

For now, it's time to get back to living morally.