Chocolate Review: Chocolove 65% with Crystallized Ginger

Now ginger is a spice I haven't had much exposure to. I loved ginger ale for a time when I was younger, but my interest fell out there. Then I tried New Tree's 73% cocoa with ginger and was impressed with how well the spicy ginger went with the delectable chocolate; to date this is one of my favorite chocolate varieties period, perhaps right below my favorite mint. But New Tree is a little expensive for regular consumption, so while it's a fantastic ginger bar I need to look elsewhere for a cheaper ginger fix. I haven't reviewed that variety yet, but I will in the future. Today in consideration is Chocolove's 65% dark chocolate with crystallized ginger bits.

Crystallized ginger, unless I am mistaken, is shaved ginger pieces that have been cooked in a sugar syrup and then coated with sugar crystals. This bar would make for my first exposure to it -- and a disappointing exposure at that. Unfortunately, this bar fails on virtually every aspect that is significant to a chocolate bar, and it makes for nothing but an easily forgettable experience.

Unlike most chocolate varieties I come across, this bar actually has a description of what type of flavor profile to expect when biting in. I like this, as it helps me greatly in identifying the various attributes I'm experiencing, sometimes even going so far as to make me even more sensitive to them, and allows for me to judge whether my experience matches the advertisement or not. The packaging advertises a tangy dark chocolate with a spicy-hot ginger finish. I perceived none of that. This chocolate is hardly tangy; rather it comes off as run-of-the-mill sweetened chocolate. And the ginger is worse than not being hot or spicy: it isn't noticeable at all! I was surprised on this point since the crystallized pieces are incorporated in rather gratuitous portions. Not even when I licked a ginger piece directly could I get any sort of ginger impression from it, so the chocolate too thoroughly dominates the flavor profile while being a very bland player itself. The wrapper doesn't deliver on its promise: this bar is un-unique, unimpressionable, and hardly worth contemplation.

The only hint of ginger I could come across is in the bar's aroma, and even at that it's way too subtle. Beyond the dominating cocoa notes (or "song") there is a excruciatingly small hint of the spicy heat of ginger, but the way it combines with the chocolate makes for a funky combination and leaves me with the impression that this is a, well, stinky bar. Yes, it stinks. I practically had to inhale the bar to even detect this small attribute.

Its mouthfeel is either equal to or worse than the boring flavor profile. The chocolate is soft without being creamy and firm without being crunchy, so the end result is simply a bar that breaks apart without any pleasurable attributes. The ginger pieces do add a crispiness what with the sugar crystals, but given that these pieces are integrated in such a boring chocolate makes it so the crispiness is entirely unappreciable. Boring, boring, boring!

Even the aesthetics are boring. I like the direction the company has chosen in regards to making their bars look like love letters, but the bland pea green is way too assertive on the packaging and so makes the letter attributes, such as the stamp, look like they just so happened to be placed there rather than put there intentionally and purposefully. The poem inside seems cheesy and common. The very least I can give them is that they use gold foil, though still not a very pretty one.

The bar itself has nice qualities in abstract, but doesn't live up to them in practice. Instead of squares the pieces are dome-shaped, which makes for a nice pillow appearance and easy handling, with the symbol of a heart on each one. I like the hearts, but they're impressed into the chocolate way too shallowly and are thus difficult to see. I wouldn't be surprised to hear if some people didn't even notice there were hearts on it at all. Furthermore, while the bar was undamaged, the wrapper indicates a mess: chocolate shards and "dust" everywhere!

This bar is simply not worthwhile. The flavor profile is boring, run-of-the-mill, and doesn't deliver on its ginger promise; the smell is somewhat funky, the mouthfeel is boring, and the packaging is oversimplified. To consider nutrition, this bar has 11 grams of sugar per serving, which leads to 33 grams per bar, and that is, in my opinion, horrendous! Pass this variety up. New Tree's version is a world above this, so I must get to reviewing it soon so that you'll be convinced as well. It may be a tad bit pricey, but my gosh does it deliver!

This makes for two varieties of Chocolove that I have given poor reviews for now, the first one being the 77% cocoa variety. As such, I hold a particularly low opinion of the Chocolove company as a whole. Sure, I may have exhausted their present store of varieties that qualify for review on this site, but that doesn't mean it will stay static at that. Unless someone can enthusiastically convince me that some new product of theirs is a must-try for review, I will from now on bar Chocolove from consideration on this blog. It's not even worth snacking on, so seek chocolate satisfaction elsewhere.

Sweet Potato Waffles

Note: Modified from Alton Brown's recipe. I goofed up, but I think the failure was in my technique rather than the mechanics of the recipe. 

Sweet Potato Waffles

Cook time: 20 minutes for potato, about 5 minutes per waffle

Servings: 5- 8 

Ingredients:

-1 large sweet potato, peeled and cubed

-6 egg whites beaten to stiff peaks

-6 tbsp coconut flour

-1 cup heavy cream (or whole milk)

-1 tbsp baking powder

-1/2 tsp cinnamon 

-1/4 tsp nutmeg

-4 tbsp butter melted

1.) Set up a steam basket inside a pot and pour enough water in it to just come underneath the basket. Bring to a boil and then steam the cubed potato for 20 minutes or until fork tender. Drain out the pot and mash the potato.

2.) Integrate the butter and cream.

3.) Fold in the dry ingredients. 

4.) Fold in the egg whites in 2-3 batches. Doing it all at once could deflate the foam. Don't over mix at this point.

5.) Dish the batter into your heated waffle iron and cook for 5-10 minutes and then serve. 

This recipe didn't come out right for me, so I cannot say yet whether this is a good recipe or one inherently destined for failure. The waffles browned near burning and fell apart in the waffle maker, leaving a difficult to clean mess, and my attempted pancakes fell apart too and didn't cook all the way through. The coconut flour is certainly suspect since it has different properties than that of white flour, namely the lack of gluten, but I don't think that was what went wrong here. I probably goofed up in my technique and didn't perform some of the steps properly, particularly those of beating the egg whites and cooking the potato.

Several weeks ago the electric beater broke down after I tried using it one day, so I had nothing but my bare hands and a whisk to beat the whites. What labor! It took about fifteen minutes for me to get "dripping" peaks, and after that I gave up and thought it sufficient. I knew in advance that this would take a terribly long time, so I did it while the potato was steaming, very early on in the process. By the time I actually needed to utilize the foam it was already deflating and separating from the liquid. Lesson learned. 

As for the potato, I was downright foolish. I let it cook for the full twenty minutes, which made it come out mushy rather than firm and tender. I should have been more diligent in checking: I thought I would be fine since steam can only get as hot as the boiling point of water at any altitude, but I forgot to take into account the heat of the metal steamer basket itself.

My hypothesis is that the mushiness of the potato itself caused the failure, as the waffles themselves couldn't hold together and would maintain a mushy texture, signaling an over-retention of moisture. The next time I try this recipe I'll concentrate on fixing the above two points: I'll be more patient with the egg white beating, to reach stiff peaks, and will delay it until the last moment, and I'll reduce the steam temperature on the pot of cubed potato and check it more often. 

Regardless, even if this recipe does succeed I think it could still use some work. The taste of coconut flour can either be assertive or recessive depending on the context. In my Bacon Heart Explosion it wasn't noticeable in the least, but in these waffles (and pancakes) it dominates the sweet potato. Refrigerating the leftovers has done well to bring out the strange pumpkin pie notes of sweet potatoes, which is why I usually like my sweet potatoes cold, but the coconut flour is still too dominate. Even the cinnamon and nutmeg are nowhere to be found. It seems most likely, upon perfection, that I'll revisit this recipe with another type of flour, likely a nut flour. 

Whatever my failure, there's still edible results.

*Fat Head* is on Hulu

My current favorite documentary, Fat Head, is available now in its entirety on Hulu. For anyone who's interested as to why I choose to flout conventional nutritional standards -- and eat things such as high-fat meats, no grains, limited sugar, and so on -- this is a great starter source that intimately details why present-day nutritional science is largely wrong and oftentimes even deceitful. I know I might not have done much in explaining my paleo lifestyle, though it probably can be derived from various things I've written, so I'd like to clarify things. This documentary is especially great for those pressed for time or are otherwise unwilling to dedicate themselves to a lengthy nutritional text like Good Calories, Bad Calories.

Going paleo has been odd for me. I actually didn't expect to see any improvements in my health or well-being since I thought I had already optimized my nutritional regiment, so I only expected long-term results like a lengthened lifespan. It came as an absolute surprise to me when I started rapidly losing weight, going from about 170 to 148 (145-142 when fasted). My skin also cleared up dramatically: I used to have considerable problems with acne on my back, and now I have "supermodel" skin -- without even trying! Other benefits include the stabilization of my energy levels, near absence of hunger, improvement of sleep, better moods, and so on. In fact, going paleo is what made me decide to pursue the course of a chef in life, as that's when I first learned to truly appreciate food: Previously food always gave me a stomachache, digestive troubles, a poor sense of being, and so on. It was an awkward transition from the Standard American Diet to paleo, but one I've greatly benefited from. I hardly even feel tempted to go back to non-paleo foods since I can't keep out of mind how crappy they make and have made me feel, except for my favorite confectioneries such as dark chocolate, cake, and ice cream. Why should I want cereal and toast when I can have steak and eggs?

Give the movie a watch to see if perhaps modern nutrition has been harming you in some way. For further information on healthy eating and living, I heartily recommend The Primal Blueprint and the author's website, http://www.marksdailyapple.com/.

Planning and Acting as Therapeutic

I haven't reached a firm decision yet as to whether I should pursue that alternative means to my Project, which could potentially increase its length of duration (though it'd be so much more bearable), so I'd like to talk about something I've been meaning to save for my after-Project article. It's uncertain as to when I'll get this Project absolutely finished, but in the meanwhile I'd like to relay to you something that has helped me immensely throughout this entire ordeal.

As you ought to already know, the Circumstance is a problem that has a certain nature which necessitates the means my Project will employ to solve it, because there's no other way to solve it. Most irritating, the Project is of a long-term nature, which means I can't just get it done lickety-split and be done with it; it takes time. Consequently, I've been spending a lot of time salivating over a goal that has been taking a long time to achieve, about eight or nine months to date. In ideal circumstances it could be completed much sooner, but ideal circumstances I am not in. It's been an enormously frustrating wait, but the payoff will be incredible.

In my blog post about my psychological fluctuations I have noted that I've been having a hard time not allowing myself to be affected by the Circumstance: In some periods I'd be able to live my life fine as if it were totally irrelevant, and in other periods I'd experience full-on hostility and wouldn't be able to keep my mind in better pursuits. I had a hard time controlling such fluctuations, resulting in a lot of frustration and unproductiveness. But thankfully I have since identified why I seem to alternate between mental suppression and calmness.

Essentially, the whole crux of my problem depends on whether or not I have something to actively engage myself in to advance my Project. The time before I conceptualized my Project was by far the most miserable, because I had no idea how to effectively deal with the Circumstance since all my tried methods were failing. The start of the Project initiated a wave of relief within me, as I knew the means would definitively eliminate the Circumstance and I'd have a regiment to engage myself in the meanwhile. Once I got stuck on independent variables, however, the misery returned and I could hardly keep my thoughts off the Circumstance. When I thought to hastily complete my Project early contentment again returned to me, and when I found out those means are virtually prohibited the frustration resurfaced. Now that I'm contemplating a possible compromise or dramatic, positive shift in my goal I find that mental clarity again is returning. What are the related attributes between times in which I was frustrated and obsessed with the Circumstance and times in which I was content and mentally clear?

Obviously the answer is not only having a plan of action, but actively implementing it too. Even if my Project were to advance smoothly all the way throughout it would still take quite some months to complete, but that long of a duration still doesn't bother me; it's whether or not I can remain driven towards that goal in that time. The difference in the periods of my emotional flux depended on whether or not I could do something about my Project. As long as some further step was available to me, I was fine. The periods that I was most miserable in and most obsessed with the Circumstance were the ones in which I was depending on independent variables to complete my Project for me, because I thought at the time that there was nothing else I could actually do to move things forward, forcing me to painfully sit and wait. Such idleness I found to be the most aggravating thing in the world; so aggravating that I couldn't remedy it by merely engaging myself in other pursuits. I wanted to pursue one goal most desperately, and that I couldn't was something my subconscious simply wouldn't let me forget.

The reason why I would obsess with the Circumstance is because it was a "loose end" in my subconscious; that is, a problem that needed immediate resolution. If I try to ignore it and not do anything about it my subconscious will push it to the front of my mind and constantly call attention to it. I recognize that the Circumstance is a serious problem in my life and my subconscious won't let me forget that. Additionally, the Circumstance is the last of the most considerable problems I need to deal with, so of course I would concentrate on it immensely: It's the last essential barrier to my pursuit of happiness. Once gone, I'll be entirely unimpeded by any psychological difficulties towards pursuing my ideal self.

The only way to deal with a loose end, of course, is to tie it. So long as I was trying to live my life and pretend the Circumstance was irrelevant the loose ends stayed loose. I still haven't completed my Project, but merely being engaged in it is adequate for my subconscious to view my loose ends as in the process of being tied up, so I feel emotionally calm and am able to direct my mental efforts much more productively.

Dealing with a substantial problem will certainly work to eat up anyone's store of attention, and dealt with in the long-term the problem could lead to intensifying emotional problems and the lack of ability to concentrate. It must be cured lest the consequences arise in the long-term, and considering the specific nature of my Circumstance and how I've witnessed other people deal with it I can say that the consequences are severe. Now, how does my identification relate to the issue of dealing with problems in a psychologically healthy way?

Any problem undealt with, like mine, with no plan to remedy it or active steps being taken will become a loose end in one's subconscious, one easy to obsess upon. And, to reiterate, the only way to eliminate a loose end is to tie it up. As a first step, if you're dealing with a substantial problem that plaguing your life, take out some paper or open a word document and plan out as thoroughly as you can how you're going to deal with the problem. This may seem piddly, but believe me when I say the planning phase of my Project did work to make me feel a whole lot better: It makes clear that the problem is not only solvable, but that there are also measurable steps that can be taken to solve it.

The second step is easy: Start acting! Once you start implementing your planned course of action your subconscious will see that you're in the process of tying up those loose ends -- and finally leave you alone about it! Again, I'm still dealing with the Circumstance that has given me much grief throughout my life, but the engagement in my Project alone is enough to make me nearly invulnerable to emotional impact by it. The most important thing in the action phase is to be able to measure your progress to your end-point. You need to know that a measurable amount of advancement is being made with each step, otherwise your subconscious will view your efforts as the equivalent of a suspended car spinning its tires in the air. Technically, the independent variables I was depending on does count towards advancing my Project forward, but since there was no way to measure how I was progressing my subconscious again made me concentrate on the loose ends. It's not hard at all to devise a system of measurement for your Project; in fact, you could rely on simply measuring the quantity of steps you need to take. Just make sure you can know when you're actually closer to achieving your goal!

This advice may not help you determine what specific means or project you need to construct in order to deal with your problems, but it should at least help to ease the burden of having to deal with a significant malady. Don't be idle in dealing with your problems, as we have only a finite amount of time alive and each calendar date will be our last. One person has even told me that he's spent over three years concentrating on a single problem of his: That's a lot of life wasted!

You might, of course, still have to deal with the problem in the process of trying to solve it, but trying to solve it alone is adequate to restore some amount of psychological fitness and to make one much happier. If I never conceptualized the Project I'd probably be unspeakably miserable by now and even more behind in living my life. It may be taking a long time to complete, but I assure you that this endeavor might be the greatest I've ever taken on in my life, and its accomplishment will be a massive spiritual fortune. Don't give up.

Weekly Summary 11/26/10 - 12/2/10, and Maybe Some Good News

I'm getting back on track! This week I managed to complete chapter thirteen of Good Calories, Bad Calories, completing a total of eight conceptual exercises for it; the final two chapters for The Journals of Ayn Rand, and only a portion of the fourth chapter of The Logical Leap since I simply ran out of time. I'm kind of proud of myself for having pushed ahead to complete Journals a little bit earlier, as it leaves vacant now a spot in my study curriculum. I did not get to transferring my recipes to a system of note cards as of yet, however, since I purchased the notecards too late in the week to allow time for it, so I'll do it next week. Overall, I'm proud of the effort I made this week. I think doing writing earlier in the day to relieve stress did help; I should continue it.

Now that I've completed Journals that would mean that a book review is coming up for it, but since reviewing chocolate is my specialty I think I'll backpedal on that goal and instead limit my thoughts to my weekly summaries. Overall, it's a very good book that details a lot of Rand's meticulously written notes to herself on various subjects, from things like ethics to writing outlines. This vast amount of variety, however, works against it in that if you hunger to deeply indulge n any one particular subject you'll be forced to adjust to the constant transitions between subjects. In hindsight this was a terrible thing for me to pick up and try to study, as the great variety of topics makes not for an integrated system of thought on any one thing. Probably the best thing you can pick up from it, which I have, is how to most effectively take notes. I really like how she uses the question method to tease out her thoughts.

Furthermore, this book has really helped me identify a significant error in my study methods, namely how I pick out my subjects. Previously I thought virtually everything was worthy of study, so if I were to choose something to read I automatically planned on meticulously studying it. This has not only led to wasted effort, but also to a lack of motivation, a slowing down of pace, and disdain for my studies. While some books may be good for one's thinking process it's not always the case that it'll make for good studying. Journals offers great insight on a wide array of things, but the variety itself eliminates any intimate integration between subjects and so leaves you with only so much to chew on at a time; hardly anything that could fill up a page of notes. I need to be a lot more careful in deciding which subjects to pick out for study and to make room for reading that isn't for formal study at all. I think the essential thing I've learned is to differentiate between educational and informative reading. Educational reading is systematic and integrated in what it tries to present and teach, whereas informative reading either merely relays information or else tries to teach in a non-systematic/non-integrated way. Journals qualifies as informative reading since it's non-systematic (but is integrated within its individual subjects). I may find this to be a false dichotomy later on, but I think it's good for now. This will help me decide whether I just want to read and think about a book's content or to bring out a pencil and paper and do a hard study of it.

So what will take the place of Journals now? I know I said that I'm eager to get back into my culinary studies, but given some uncertain aspects of my project I'd like to hold that off for a bit. The most recent edition of The Objective Standard is sitting on my coffee table right now, so I think I'll complete that first -- as an informative reading subject -- before I firmly commit myself to anything. Beyond that, I think I might take to Cyrano De Bergerac, as I haven't read any serious literature in a while and crave it. I know it'll be a little frustrating to continue putting off my culinary studies like this, but I don't know how well I could perform at such studies given the current situation I'm in, where my culinary endeavors are partially hindered. More thinking needs to be done.

Now -- what's that good news I mentioned in the title? Well, from someone's suggestion I have learned that it may not only be possible to complete my Project within the confines of my original aim, rather than compromise, but I may also be able to complete it with greater results and achieve multiple goals at once. It's ambitious, but I think the end result would be overwhelmingly valuable and joyous. I'm not sure yet if it's totally feasible, but if it is, then it's absolutely worth pursuing, even if it makes my Project take a little bit longer. It would advance me *greatly* in life and put me in a much healthier situation all the the same time. That I could get rid of the Circumstance and achieve multiple goals at the same time is like being showered with prizes. Oh the ecstasy might be unbearable!

Everything's still in the research and thinking phase; I haven't taken any actual steps towards pursuing this course, and it's possible it may not be feasible at all. I should talk to some people as well. We'll have to wait and see.

For this week I'll pursue to complete a section of every study subject, including reading at least one article from The Objective Standard; set up my recipe system, and reach a definitive decision as to whether or not I should pursue the means which would advance my Project in a better way.

Chocolate Review: Green & Black's 85%

Green & Black's is actually the chocolate brand that originally got me into eating dark chocolate. During the first several weeks of my paleo diet I was feeling fine except for my intense cravings for sugar, especially lactose sugar. I know that satisfying those cravings would only work to perpetuate them, but I also knew that trying to ride out the storm was intensely uncomfortable, so I looked for a way to satisfy my cravings in a somewhat paleo-friendly way. One day I stumbled upon G & B's chocolate in the grocery store and remembered what I read about dark chocolate, so I ended up buying some bars. When I first started eating them I was only slightly pleased by the flavor and merely tolerated the bitter aftertaste, but my determination to defeat my sugar cravings made me continue munching dark chocolate as a way to satisfy myself. Well, I managed to get myself to where I virtually never have constant lactose and table sugar cravings, and now I actually nurture a love of dark chocolate and can consume bars composed of up to 100% cacao. I'm so glad I stuck it out and developed the taste for this wonderful stuff!

I'm not sure exactly what variety I started out with -- it may have been the 70% or mint variety --but today in consideration is the 85% variety, one of the earliest varieties I tried nonetheless. Given the considerably prestigious aura around this brand name I had high expectations -- and was not disappointed at all.

This absolutely gives both of Lindt's varieties a run for their money (1, 2); in fact, I think that this bar may inch forward enough to come out first. Where do I start?

The flavor profile is fantastic and utterly surprised me. I remember strongly there being a chemical-like bitterness when I first ate G & B's, but now that I'm acclimated to dark chocolate I found that there was no bitterness at all. It tastes and smells luxuriously of drinking cocoa, and the vanilla note is very assertive and blends into the experience perfectly without really being a separate player. The sweetness is also of the perfect amount, bringing the right balance to allow this bar to be experienced for its darkness without being distorted otherwise.

But my favorite part of this bar absolutely has to be the mouthfeel. It's heaven! In contrast to Lindt, this bar is more compact and thicker, but it seems to squeeze down in size somehow without translating to more density. I daresay this bar melts even better than Lindt, as the squares seem to slowly pull apart without really cracking and melts virtually instantaneously. The extra thickness comes in wonderfully here, as each bite turns into viscous goo at an incredibly fast rate, if it can be measured in time at all. Lindt on the other hand is more firmly solid and does take a slightly longer time to melt. Lindt is the hare to Endangered Species' tortoise, but G& B's is the cheetah to Lindt's hare. Do not eat this at anything other than room temperature lest you deprive yourself of such glory.

The aesthetics are lovely too, and G & B's is in fact the brand that made me pay attention to the appearance of the packaging to begin with. The paper is a warm chocolately brown with a wealthy gold writing font. I am infinitely fond of the gold foil as well, as it makes the chocolate look like a bar of gold out of a treasure chest. Fitting, no? The bar is divided into thirty individual squares, and while they're all tiny they break off easily without coming off in hunks or creating fissures. Each square is personalized with the G & B's signature apostrophe leaf, except for one or so square in the far corner which has the abbreviated titled of Green & Black's. G & B's gets full credit in the artistic realm.

I was also impressed by how simply delicious this bar looked. The color is absolutely consistent without any tone fluctuations or gritty "dust" from the chocolate breaking apart on the near-microscopic level; it is whole and complete. It lacks shine, but this is no vice since it has a dominant caramel glow that makes the bar light up slightly. The snap is quiet and subtle, virtually an indication of how soft the pieces will be in your mouth.

I have not a solitary complaint; this bar is wonderful. The mouthfeel alone is what makes me prefer this over Lindt's own 85%, and even their 90%. This chocolate bar is what a chocolate bar ought to be; it is now my plain chocolate of choice.

However, there might be some other slight considerations that could make a change, for they do differ slightly in nutritional content. I'd advise taking this information with a grain of salt, because the nutritional information on my chocolate wrapper contradicts slightly the web information. Comparing all three varieties (Lindt's 85% and 90%, and G & B's 85%), G & B's has an higher overall carb count than Lindt's 85% and is lower than Lindt's 90%, but it significantly bests both brands in its overall and saturated fat content. This higher fat content might explain the heavenly mouthfeel, and saturated fat is certainly a welcome attribute to the paleo diet. Your own dietary preferences may make you decide otherwise, but I prefer the higher fat content since the carb and sugar differences are negligible. On the other hand, if money is your primary concern here, then Lindt is the cheaper option.

This bar was a pleasant refutement of my memories and has instantly shot to one of the highest positions of my favorites list (below, of course, my beloved ). I'll definitely be eating this in the future and will perhaps sometime buy it in bulk. I greatly recommend this chocolate

Bacon Heart Explosion

Note: Not optimized recipe; this cites merely what I did.

Bacon Heart Explosion

A meatloaf made with ground beef heart, wrapped entirely in bacon.

Prep: 10-20 minutes

Cook time: Approx. 2 hours

Servings: About 8

Ingredients:

2 pounds of thick cut bacon

2 pounds of ground beef heart

1 egg

Approximated coconut flour

2 tsp. of salt

2 tsp. (or tbsp!) of chili powder

2 tsp. garlic powder

1 tsp. onion powder

1.) Preheat the oven to 275 degrees. You don't want the bacon to crispify or burn before the beef is cooked, so slow is the way to go.

2.) Lay out the bacon in a weave format on a baking sheet. To do that: First, lay one pound in a row going down the width of the pan. To interlace the other pound, pull back every other strip of bacon and then lay one strip down facing in a perpendicular direction, and then lay down the pulled back strips over on top. Pull back the other columns and repeat in this in an alternating fashion until you run out of room or bacon. It should look similar to this when finished. 

3.) Put the ground heart in a large mixing bowl, drain off any fluids, and message in the spices, seasoning, and egg. Afterward, message in the coconut flour -- just add in the barest amount to make it retain any fluids or egg, or skip altogether if everything integrates fine. Place the beef on the bacon grid.

4.) Now form the whole thing into a log. You can accomplish this by either hand-molding the beef heart into a log -- making sure it's as wide as the bacon weave -- moving it to one end, and then wrapping the weave around it, or you can flatten the heart out into the same shape and dimensions as the bacon weave and then form the log as you roll. I opted for the former.

5.) Stick a roast thermometer in the center and roast for one to two hours, until the temperature reaches that of your desired meat doneness. Beef heart may be an organ meat, but it's still beef, so treat it like regular hamburger and judge accordingly.

6.) Optional: broil on high the last few minutes to get a crispy bacon top.

7.) Slice and serve immediately!

I first heard of the Bacon Explosion through another paleo-minded friend of mine and have been intrigued with it. I did try the pork sausage version minus the barbecue sauce with great success, but I must admit that I prefer the beef heart version, as it's cheaper, more nutritious, and more to my taste. It's quite filling and satisfying, so it works great for normal dinners, dinner parties, or single-person meals if you want a lot of leftovers. I definitely enjoy this for breakfast.

I need to work on my spice portioning, however. The salt I think is perfect, but I could have done better to up the chili powder, my current favorite spice blend, and the garlic and onion powder. The beef didn't have much body, which left the bacon to dominate. Also, I forgot to fry up my leftover bacon for integration inside the loaf and so neglected a flavor opportunity there. I won't forget that for next time. I might also ditch the onion powder for chopped onions next time as well. 

Functionally, I considered this recipe mastered, as I can create the bacon weave, form the loaf, and all, but still haven't mastered flavor optimization, so I'll definitely be toying with this recipe in the future. I might even try a version with a different type of meat, like beef tongue. Or heck, why not a blend of heart and tongue? 

While this meal may seem indulgently expensive it's actually a bargain. I can get beef heart for 99 cents a pound at my local grocery store/slaughter house and grind it myself, and if I buy the bacon in bulk it only costs $2.49 a pound. The high fat content of this meals makes for great leftovers for a single person, so you could go at it for three to four days easily. Try it with some fried or scrambled eggs and some kale chips. 

I haven't got into making any sauces yet, so I certainly need to work to formulate a paleo-friendly one, most likely a type of hot sauce. I'll probably get to making this again in a very short time.