It should be no surprise to anyone by now to observe that I love chocolate. I do reviews on every Friday and it's often the subject of some posts earlier in the week. I may give off the impression of someone who constantly consumes chocolate everyday of every week, but the truth of the matter is that I enjoy it on an intellectual level. I watch my sweets, so if I choose to indulge in some other sweet item I'll often forgo chocolate for the day, and sometimes I go days without consuming any sweets at all. When I do choose chocolate I try to enjoy it in the slowest way possible, and the bars I enjoy most are the ones I buy for review purposes, even if I end up hating the variety. It's thoroughly enjoyable to think about chocolate: about a particular company's packaging, bar style, mouthfeel, flavor profile, and so on. It's not so much in the eating, but rather my being able to communicate my evaluation of the bar as a unified whole, from its edible characteristics to its wrapping foil. Even if there existed no way to profit from my reviews I would still keep doing them, as they've become a very rewarding hobby.
Though lately I've been taking to thinking about chocolate in ever greater amounts, and don't confuse this with the physiological act of daydreaming about foods you crave. I've come across some birthday money and have consequently been thinking about how to best spend it recreationally, and strangely enough chocolate is the dominant thing that comes to mind. Even more odd, I largely don't want to buy and restock on varieties I know I already like, but rather continue exploring and gain fodder for my reviews for weeks to come. Of course I'll buy some other things like nuts to make nut butter out of and perhaps dried fruit, but chocolate exploration is my biggest interest.
This makes me wonder: Could chocolate perhaps play a bigger role in my life than I'm giving it credit for? Given my culinary-oriented central purpose in life, is it possible that chocolate could be my desired culinary specialization? Should I pursue chocolate career-wise in any serious way? Or could it perhaps just be a culinary sub-interest, a hobby? Such are questions to contemplate over the coming weeks.
While the evidence I have provided to my readers and other people may make such an answer seem obvious, I think the context of my life obscures things. I, of course, an talking about the Project and the Circumstance. It's possible that my having to deal with the Circumstance is distorting my value perceptions in some way, making me concentrate on less-essential values while my most essential are unable to be satisfied for the time being. In another post I asserted that I could be becoming materialistic, for example, because my ability to satisfy myself spiritually is largely negated by the presence of the Circumstance. Could I be concentrating on chocolate out of mere stress?
Really, I don't think these questions are answerable right now. They might not be truly answerable until I'm on the other side of the Project and am observing the psychological benefits achieved. If I continue to concentrate with great emphasis on chocolate then I'll contemplate my career goals accordingly, but right now I suspect that my focus is a distortion resulting from the Circumstance. For now I'll wait and see.
And don't you forget there will be another chocolate review this Friday.
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