MAJOR Project Update

In my last weekly summary I noted that I was contemplating a specific means to getting my Project done a little earlier. It has risk attached to it, but the completion of the Project would put me in a much healthier and fit condition to be able to deal with that risk. I've done my thinking and reached a conclusion.

I'm going to do it.

At first I was extremely hesitant and afraid of utilizing such means given the risk, but after realizing I made a significant error in my calculations and restored confidence in my ability to defeat my problems I have decided that it would be in my best self-interest to get this Project completed as soon as possible. Finally I can give a time frame for the projected completion date: Let's say within the next two months or so. I have a specific time in mind in which everything can be accomplished, but for now vague approximation must be given for the continued secrecy, thought I hope you're glad as I am that things won't need to be kept secret for much longer.

Needless to say, I'm very pleased. My mind has become even more clear of the Circumstance since I've made this decision, which gives more evidence that my psychological troubles were a matter of my ability to solve my problems. Before I started the Project I was obsessed with the Circumstance because I couldn't deal with it through the means I was then attempting to, and after starting the Project my mind was clear and inner peace was restored since I was making steps towards my goal and solution. When I got caught up in independent variables and the Project stagnated once again, I once again became obsessed with the Circumstance since it returned to being unsolvable. Now that I'm taking steps again -- and the final steps this time -- my mind is clear and peace is restored. Once everything is finished the peace should be continuous.

However, I need to be careful to recognize that this isn't a magic bullet solution; the Circumstance, after it is conquered, could still have a psychological impact on me which I'll need to work on introspecting and correcting. The only difference is that with the Circumstance gone I'll have nothing to hinder my development or to agitate my problems; trying to develop myself while the Circumstance is still present in my life is like asking how one can heal a cut while still reopening it everyday. I'll have full responsibility after this Project, and I'll know that everything in my mental life will be a consequence of my actions alone.

Now I can get back to work on this Project, a pleasure I've been away from for too long. I think I might even begin constructing drafts on that long blog post I've been promising you about the Project for after I'm able to talk about it. Though, again, don't get your hopes up for it being exciting, since it's more important to me than it is to you and you'll probably be disappointed to learn why I kept matters a secret.

At the very least, I'm glad that I should be able to finish this Project before it hits the one-year mark. I started working on it in March 2010, which makes for nine months I have been engaged in this.